Word Smithery Compitition.

It's been a while since we had a compitition and I have never done one. So, because I rock and roll at these kinds of poems, here is the deal.

Post JUST ONE of your poems that you feel has very clever plays on words, or wickedly smart metaphors or other kind of wizardary with language. Can be any subject and style etc...it just has to be very cleverly written in some way. [if you need an example of what I mean I can Pm you examples from my own extensive back catelogue darlings.]

The top 3 will get in depth comment prizes from me. 3 for 1st, 2 for second and 1 for third.

Get to it if you feel it. Please only post one and PM me any questions, lets keep this thread just full of submissions. You have about 5 daysish...

Abundant Sky

Iridescent heavenly array
On bounteous azure decolletage
As lover's fixed gaze yields
Dreams in cumulus mirage

Mariner's hue forecasts dusk to dawn
Red, divining delight or warning
Quicksilver kaleidescope rainbow
Portends promise, new day's morning

Two-faced orb breaks twilight
Released as tidal turmoil sways
Reverent ancient's homage dealt
Eclipsed in full lustrous phase

Telescoped in Galileo's light
Multiples too many to behold
Astrologers seek to map
Alignments as futures foretold

Abundant sky cradling life
By light of dawn's eastern rise
Dangling heart's precipitous reign
As shadows lengthen day's demise

Heartbeat

Waning moonlight crowns a primordial nexus
Native land of Seminole sons' and daughters
Beneath archways of mossy oak and cypress
Twist ribbons of dark tannin filled waters

Feral beasts hunt, tracking by scent of spoor
Carnivorous plants attract with blossoms
Bright colors, sweet nectar, tend to allure
Innocent prey fall to beauty as victims

Low throaty bellows emit an eerie sound
As alligators bask in the warmth of heat
Pod hatchlings stir in nests on ground
Audible pulses of a distant heart beat

Still is the night in this chain of command
Anhingas dine on newly hatched young
Part of a diet that surely was planned
As mothers return to see what has come

Listen to the cries that each of them sing
Okefenokee, "Land of the trembling earth"
Existence of necessity in each living thing
Natures beauty in death just as in birth

Romance Is The Very Essence Of Life (Paradelle)
by Italian Stallion

Romance is the very essence of life
Romance is the very essence of life
Without it the world would go insane
Without it the world would go insane
Life without romance would be insane
For it's of essence in this very world

Such a love that is oh so real
Such a love that is oh so real
Making it feel just so surreal
Making it feel just so surreal
Is this love real or surreal
Well I feel we are making it oh so real

Feeling your warmth by my side
Feeling your warmth by my side
And the soft tender touch of your lips
And the soft tender touch of your lips
Feeling the warmth of your lips as they touch mine
While you lay your soft tender body by my side

Your love for me is it real or surreal?
This feeling is making me go insane
Without the warmth of your soft tender kiss
Without the extra essence you provide
My world would be deprived
Of the romance I once had

© Copyright 2006 By: Italian Stallion

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Paradelle is a modern poetic form invented by Billy Collins as a parody of the villanelle.
Billy Collins claimed that the paradelle was a difficult, fixed form consisting of four six-line
stanzas with a repetitive pattern invented in eleventh century France, and the press believed
the story and ran with it. Due to the extensive publicity, the Paradelle has made its rounds
in the poetic community. Eventhough the form was invented as a hoax, the Paradelle has taken
on a life of its own. It is still a difficult form, nonetheless, to practice which can be fun and
rewarding eventhough the inventor may not have intended it to be.

~THE PARADELLE STRUCTURE~

First Three Stanzas:

The first two lines as well as the third and fourth lines of the first three stanzas must be the same
(repeat). Where it begins to get difficult and become more of a poetic puzzle is when reaching
fifth and sixth lines. These lines must contain all the words from the preceding four lines within
the stanza using them only once to form completely new lines.

Last Stanza:

For the most difficult piece of this poetic puzzle, the final stanza of the paradelle does not repeat like
the preceding stanzas, rather the final six lines must contain every word from the first three stanzas,
and only those words, again using them only once to form completely new lines.

The Design is simple:

Stanza 1: 1, 1, 2, 2, 3, 4
Stanza 2: 5, 5, 6, 6, 7, 8
Stanza 3: 9, 9, 10, 10, 11, 12
Stanza 4: 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coiled Lips
by: Willow

she roams among the shadows
under the darkness of night
dressed in a black velvet gown
creating a dazzling sight

with long beautiful soft hair
the color of freshly fallen snow
luscious mouth painted ruby red
along with her fingers and toes

eyes a tantalizing deep blue
a slight crook to her slender nose
she hunts silently for her next victim
craving that succulent juicy flow

high heels click upon the cobble stone
as the fog rolls in off the bay
with the taste of blood on her coiled lips
pointy fangs hungrily meet their prey

Withered field

Roses with no right to flourish
standing out in a withered field,
of those that tried to catch the sun
between those whose petals have died
amidst the ones that cried their dew
around the few whose leaves turned red
roses who shall always flourish,
flourish above the withered field.

DENIAL

It cannot be.

I know you.

I know the hand that awed me (and my misery)
if it were a Maiden’s or a Mermaid’s,
offering the warmth of friendly fire,
for I knew you were not merely mortal.

The voice that so sweetly serenaded me
with the bitter staccato of reality,
and introduced me to light and death
with its music and meaning in between.

I know those eyes that gleamed at me,
tear-laden or dreamy, I could never tell,
but so pure that the skeptic in me
could distill spirit, but never them.

I know you, and me, and me and you,
and how we coalesced and melted into one
on that winter day where no frost or chill or gust
could scrape our wholeness.

And I even know the rock that we are,
Baked and warm under the fathomless skies
with an edge that no squall can scratch,
and no mighty river of Time, thin.

But what is this that echoes?

I know how you’ll speak of acceptance;
and I like to live in the bowels of truth,
but (sometimes) poets have obscure thoughts
and they like to think them!
A poet’s paper cut (and maybe a lost arm)
is doused in thoughts of ‘woe is me’
but then he smiles at the daffodils
So, acceptance is not a victory over denial –
(sometimes) it’s just stupidity…

Of course it cannot be. It isn’t true.
I know you – and you love me – I’m so silly!

Eternal Obsession By Wallace

Souls of the deceased wander in confusion
Inviting all mortals to the portal of death
Enchanting spells for the departed heart
Relinquish emotions and devour insanity
Varnish the senile with graces of vile
Destroy all dreams and hopes of plea

Perpetuity exposed unveiled in sin
Ordained inhumanity enters abyss
Eternal wisdom obscured by dawn
Portrayed in lust whilst stained with pain
Deceived with fiction and hidden debris
Desiring obsession drenched for me

I had no eye deer what to put for this.

Snob: A Love Poem
-Sibyllene

The tome in prominence
on my shelf
bulky, impressive, leather-chested
you are an acquired taste, indeed
I have to wheedle your charm
rusty Malory, grim Tolstoy, cerebral Hegel
you are not readily accessible
but I have passion and patience, and
no small amount of hope, you see,
your joys I would cajole-
koi swimming lazy and serene under sheets of ice
the jewels of your brilliance, lodged in grouchy stone
I believe they're hidden - just as I like them
I labour, stub, stumble
ignorant of language and style
labyrinthine delicious exasperation, you
unlikeable, addicting thing, you.

Two shoes and a skull

they carried the pedestal of leper skinned heroes,
to the lazarusizer to receive their resurrectioning.,
but his door was bolted shut, no healing hand here.

so the swarm of diseased caravan meat bearers,
turned back, in search of a fire of cave dwellers.

what they found was a safe congregation,
of a tribe of hungry, welcoming, cannibals,
that were more than accommodating for their request,
to warm themselves around their modest fire.

i suppose the taste of leper skin doesn't really differ,
that much from the flavor of freshly torn flesh.

the warmth was not unconditional by any means,
a sacrifice was required, the pedestal became lighter.
surprisingly the tribe thanked the travelers as they left,
one soul lighter, two shoes, and a skull left behind,

weighing so heavy on the hearts of the ones spared,
trembling and cold, the pedestal was lifted once more.

Eh, did I mention that there is a rule about Mods entering...yeah there is a rule...which I can't be bothered to explain or clearly define...but I'm going to apply it anyway...so watch out.

: )..only jesting...Mods are welcome to bribe me just like everybody else..

Iris

Embed thunder; A crack multiplied
Obscured amid a faltered painted veil
It dangled
On metal; to silk hooked lace
Eclipsed in a tinted smile

Good...very good...keep em coming and then in a few days I'll close it and review....

Neat idea, thanks! - I'll post one too.

"Check Mate, You Win"

I set up all my pieces then glace out in front of me,
Opponent worthy of this game of chess that's come to be;
This man that I've come to adore sets up a challenge, so,
I can't back down, chess board of life is now the way we go.

My pawns stand tall, protect the queen that is my empty heart.
But you're confused, and so your rook - it takes one from the start.
I brace myself, can never tell which move you're going to make
So I back off and make sure my defences, you can't break.

She's guarded now, but this queen sits and yearns for something more
A game to you, you quickly push another pawn to floor.
I take my knights and gather up the strength that's left in me,
And let them out to question what you're thinking, what will be.

But you still have no answer about what is going on,
And every time that happens, you take out another pawn.
My bishop's set to make an ex across the board to see
If this is meant to happen, or if its meant to be.

Strong til the end, I sit with my few pieces and I wait,
And wonder why it feels this way, and hope its not too late.
We're both in check, just like we've been so many times before -
'Cause life has knocked us over, thrown our chess game to the floor.

The pieces scatter to the ground, but there in front of me
Is the queen I still believe in, a queen who wants to be
Holding up a king who's also been knocked to the ground
Because she thinks in him, something amazing she has found.

I know that life does not make sense, and that its not a game
But since we've met, my checkered board has never been the same
I think of you, too much its true, don't know which way to go
Check mate, you win, I've fallen in - so please just let me know.

Skip free

"One day you'll skip free this lucid dream"
My mother always told me.
I'll never skip free
Cause to skip means to go
And going's for the lost.
I'm never lost,
Though never found.
I'm the other side of what's never around.
The apple Eve couldn't resist,
The knowledge some say doesn't exist.

I laugh at the world
and its failure to see the futility
in its hopes in ever catching up to me.
O well, I'll let it trail me for now.
It's never to late
to burn
the whole thing down anyhow.
Everyone chases the dream,
but I lead it.

This doesn't really have a particular style i just put a lot of different thoughts, similes, metaphors on paper and played with concepts. and sort of combined some stuff.

Destination just simple happiness

Venomous poison begging her to succumb.
Malicious, deadly toxin eradicating what's left,
Of her soul and will her hope and courage.
Twisting torture and contorting her mind,
An intense void runs through her veins.
Distorting her opaque surroundings;
Nothing to hold onto; grasping at a chance
To break free, to interpret her thoughts;
Like hieroglyphics on an ancient tomb.
Strange, unfamiliar, unwilling to be tamed,
Her heart mangled, beyond repair.
It is now too far along this dissolute road,
Unrestrained by convention or morality.
Multiple pathways have merged into but one.
This disease as explosive as dynamite,
Desensitizes what's left of normality.
She lets a tear escape the jail of her eyes,
In the desire for the dreams she beholds.

* * *

A light is shining as faint as it may be.
Full of hope and imagination within.
Translucent window surrounds her heart,
Allowing light to touch upon her soul.
Memories continue and never do fade.
The outlook and essence does change.
Challenges and endurance begin to peak.
This once dark abyss reincarnates,
Blossoms into a disarray of potential.
This shallow poison attempting ransom,
Triumphed the initial but lost in odyssey.
Escape and not dwell the prison of past,
Elucidate and be free from ambiguity.
Destination just simple happiness.

I refuse to enter a Word Smithery Compitition run by a person who doesn't know how to smith the word "competition".

Heh heh heh.

Actually, I'm not good at these types of poems. I love reading the stuff though. This is one tough competetion, Kev. All the best, all.

Ha, Abby that was a joke, which you didin't get.

Competition indeed...you Aussie scumbag.

Wha? I still don't get the joke. Is the joke that I don't get the joke? Or is the joke that you just made up the joke? Or is the joke not actually existent, but you just trying to be clever, unsuccessfully? Haha...aha. Damn I'm harsh.

Yeah, stop fiddling around with the rules, you Scottish buttcrack. It's not on.

Meanwhile, here's a poem, Wordsmith. It's called Smithing, cos it's full of it.

Oh yes, you may point to your lofty spires,
Knowing somebody else made them,
Oh yes, you may point to the thiefs and the liars,
Knowing somebody else weighed them, writing

A lovely, lovely law for
A stupid, stupid love
That reigns your pure heart.

Yet, how your large liberal mind labours
Against smears that so easily fill it,
Settling in soft solemn chambers
Lined with fears that so easily kill it, fighting

A stupid, stupid love for
A lovely, lovely law
That stains your poor heart.

I agreed Bob, for Sherry's sake not to discuss the rules of this website with any Moderators for a while and that is an agreement I'm going to honour.

It's all about intent, and thats all I'm going to say.

I'll close this competition tomorrow night and then take a few days picking the winners. Thanks to everyone who has contributed so far.

Ok this is closed now and here are the winners. I should point out that many people posted poems that were full of complex language but weren't to my mind at least, especially clever in of themselves, by which I mean the words were clearly intelligently places but not wizard level, if you catch my meaning.

Here then are the winners, who should tell me which poems they want me to comment on....3 comments for 1st place, 2 for second and 1 for 3rd.

1st place

Abundant Sky by Debbylyn

Iridescent heavenly array
On bounteous azure decolletage
As lover's fixed gaze yields
Dreams in cumulus mirage

Mariner's hue forecasts dusk to dawn
Red, divining delight or warning
Quicksilver kaleidescope rainbow
Portends promise, new day's morning

Two-faced orb breaks twilight
Released as tidal turmoil sways
Reverent ancient's homage dealt
Eclipsed in full lustrous phase

Telescoped in Galileo's light
Multiples too many to behold
Astrologers seek to map
Alignments as futures foretold

Abundant sky cradling life
By light of dawn's eastern rise
Dangling heart's precipitous reign
As shadows lengthen day's demise

[I felt this was a multi layered piece, which had a duel message running through it of the complexities of relationships communicated through the medium of the sky and weather types. Just beautiful]

2nd Place

Withered field by Terminal choice

Roses with no right to flourish
standing out in a withered field,
of those that tried to catch the sun
between those whose petals have died
amidst the ones that cried their dew
around the few whose leaves turned red
roses who shall always flourish,
flourish above the withered field.

[This is a powerful piece of work where not one word is wasted and every line is absolutely necessary, yet for all it's small size it packs a huge metaphorical punch where every point it turned into something else to represent it in a visual way. It's also perfectly pitched in that it's just the right amount of clever to be understood at the first or second read. It really shows the effort the author went to to turn their basic idea or feeling into something with a message, a medium and a meaning. Outstanding, and on a personal note exactly the kind of poem I'd write about this subject.]

3rd place was tricky to call, but in the end I chose

I held her beauty for a day by JHarrison

I am the rough hand
That felt the gem through
Sodden earth
And pried it loose,
Holding it for a moment
Guessing at its shape.

Passed and polished
Its gleam preened by
More refined hands
used to holding
such things.

I save the dry earth that surrounded it once,
Run a calloused finger around the crevice
And invoke the memory
That like all else
Is slowly becoming dust.

[Once again I was impressed by the strong idea that ran through this whole piece and channeled the feelings the author had before he even set pen to paper. I could almost picture him holding his pen, the emotions stirring inside him but holding back until the precise metaphor or phrase came to him mind to keep the philosophy of poem constant. As with the previous two winners every feeling and named thing is changed into something far more visual and this is done very neatly and with great effect. The last stanza is what actually placed this poem 3rd over the two honourable mentions below. Ace piece of work.]

These two pieces I felt deserved a bold effort badge, despite not ranking in the top 3 I still really liked them. Bob's poem especially, but I felt for the requirements I'd asked for as parameters for winning, JHarrisons met them more. I'd rank both poems equally in terms of quality and effort.

Seduced by a tree by Bob Shank

her limbs were perfect
branching toward my heart
bearing fruit so supple
deliciously a'la carte

she gave freely
her saps of love
often her firm roots
are what I think of

yet the forest is far
and so very dense
and I am a man
with no directional sense

I shall follow the trail
young saplings leave for me
whilst singing my verse
seduced by a tree......

Illuminatix's poem was a very interesting effort which scored highly in terms of clever use of words but against the other poems it's message or meaning was not so subtle and enticing, still very good piece.

To Miss. Green (Etheree)
by Illuminatix

Pain
More pain
So much pain
So much more pain
Pain plus pain plus pain
Equals one pail of pain
One pail of pain times x pain
Now that is one big load of pain
I had enough! I will add the 't'
Paint! I will paint my world green! Take that, pain!

Thank you all for entering, I really enjoyed doing this and I'll make up another competition in a few weeks.

Cheers, Kevin.

Thank you, means quite alot

Thanks! Congrats to all the winners and entrants....awesome poems!

Sweet! I looooved JHarrison's poem, glad that was in your top picks. : )

Excellent!

Nice comments and honourable mentions. Now for the dishonourable mentions...

Congrats everyone!

Oh come on, kevin, you have no idea what debbylyn's poem is really about. neither do i. neither does she.

"Oh come on, kevin, you have no idea what debbylyn's poem is really about. neither do i. neither does she."

^....and that Selene is the beauty of poetry! lol

Ah my dear Selene,

I understood it well enough to explain why I thought it deserved to win.

Perhaps I can explain it to you, or better yet ask the author...

Excellent choice for the winner.......and congrats to all of you :)

How good at broad descriptions you are, Bob. I agree with Selene :)

For those who don't understand metaphors in poetry..........I guess that comes with age. For words you don't understand try a dictionary........hmmm....wasn't this suppose to be a contest called Word Smithery.......hmmm

Hahaha, why would you be shocked? Please explain, dear Bobby ;) I would not be shocked at all, and I know the situation best.

Ah, you know. You know. And I know you know, as I knew you knew, but I propose the same query. Why would you be shocked? If you know me at all, which you do, then you would have no reason for shocking.

Cheerio then ;)

Don't be daft Bob, why bother about the rules eh?

Yeah, join the club. And I mean that quite literally.

Can the other two winners post the poems they want me to comment on. I have a day off tomorrow and I want to do them all at once.

I sent you a PM Kevin...........

Okay, I finally read all of the poems posted. JHarrison's is by far the most beautiful, and I'm not saying that because we're buds. It's ridiculously abnormal how well he writes.

Tara, you're a sexy demon.