Bringing Down the Stars Request

This is Eilena again. Several people have read one of my poems titled Bringing Down the Stars and they gave me some good advice to change it...(it really sucked back then...)

So right now I'd appreciate it if anyone could read the revised revision of the poem and help me by commenting/voting/or just reading it? And once again, if you could give me honest criticism, and be blunt about what you think (winces), I'd really love that!! Thank you!!

P.S: I know I haven't read all those who answered the last post. As soon as my work cuts down a little, I'll get to them, okay? I will make sure to read or comment on your poems too!!!

http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/author.html?id=297648