I've Decided

That the emotional pain is getting tiresome and I don't wanna deal with it anymore. I've decided that I just don't wanna deal with it anymore and that it's not gonna be my problem anymore.
I've decided that I just won't let anyone close enough into my life. That way, they can't hurt me anymore.

"I've decided that I just won't let anyone close enough into my life. That way, they can't hurt me anymore."

Shutting people out won't get rid of the emotional pain will it? I think it'll make it worse. You'll be hurting yourself.

I don't know your situation so I can't really say much but I've learnt that letting people in and knowing that you love and care for them as they love and care for you is one of the best feelings ever.

If you don't give people a chance you'll never know, not everyone is out there to hurt you, there are good people in the world :)

It's just hard sometimes.
because you never know who's intensions are good.
and who's are bad, you know. "/

Yeah I understand that.
Because you don't know what people's intentions are you don't want to risk it right?

Don't let bad experiences with people hold you back. Learn from them. I'm sure they've made you a stronger person in ways you haven't realised.

It just feels like everytime i make a decision, it's always wrong, especially the ones i been making for the past year or two.

I think it's easier said than done.
And I know that people think I hold on just b/c I want to.
But there's more to it that they don't understand.
or see.

Or maybe I'm just being dramatic.

But I've actually thought I let go before.
But it wasn;t long before I figured out that I hadn't.

After hardship comes ease?
Just hang in there and take it one day at a time.

All decisions have consequences - good && bad. I believe that if something IS going to happen its will happen no matter what you do. So maybe everything that's happened what just meant to be and later on everything will get better

Kinda like. karma?

my friend tries to tell me that it's karma.
one of my friends truly believes that in time
karma will catch up with me.
but to me it's like. well. i'm still waiting.

im not a strong believer in karma though.
i believe it exists though. .

Yeah...a little like Karma I guess.

The main thing is time, we all have to wait. Life has its own road and everyone's one works at a different pace. Some people seem to everything good now whilst others have to wait.

I'm sure that if you stick with it and appreciate the good, in time things will clear up.

Patience is indeed a virtue.

It;s just that sometimes it gets frustrating.

and my friends. .the one i have at school, i use to adore them. But nowadays, they've just been getting on my nerves. I dunno, maybe it's my fault. I just haven't really felt like talking to anyone about anything lately. So they try to guess, and ask a bunch of these stupid, random questions that are irrelevant. .
I mean, yeah I been shutting them out. But it's also because, to sound cliche, some things are better left a secret.

Maybe talking to them will help. If they're *trying* to find out what's wrong, it shows they care and are concerned about you.

They probably don't know HOW to so it might be better if you tell them straight rather than leavingthem in the dark guessing.

If you feel you can't tell them all, choose someone you trust the most out of them and just talk about your feelings.

But the thing is I don't trust my school friends that much anymore. The people I trust most live kinda far from me. We talk on the phone sometimes. . Like i get that they're concerned. But even when I say I'd rather not talk about it, they push me.

I guess you have to learn to trust your school friends again but that depends on the situation I guess.

The choice is up to you really, if you think you can help yourself then you don't need to tell anyone otherwise talking to those, even on the phone will help.

Aah how about like a counsellor or someone? That way its all confidential and you won't have to tell the people you see every day?

It's just that my school friends are preoccupied with their own troubles. Some of them are caught up in boyfriend troubles. And the rest have their own individual problems. And I stopped trying to talk to them anyway, because they'd talk a little bit in response to what I'd say, but then somehow make it relate to themselves, and switch the subject to them.

And I don't work well with adults. "/

Oh man, that sucks =[

I'm not really show what adice I should give you but I think you'll just have to give yourself time to let yourself LEARN to trust people again. It really is up to you, but if you want the change you can get it :)

As for the other problems in your life, analyse them and do whatever you think is best. In the end, if the outcome is not what you expected then just let it be, it's that whole karma thing again ;)

Anyway I have to run now.
I doubt I've done much but I hope I've helped in some form :)

If you need to talk feel free to PM me and I'll get back to you.

All the best,
Riffy
xxx.

You HAVE helped. :]

it was just nice to talk to someone a lil.
even though i didnt spill my guts or anything.
it was nice. :]