Funny sayings

my boyfriend and his friends always say

"i'll slap you with a wet salmon "

and " you cant have your cake and eat it"- it always confuses me coz why would you have a cake and not eat it!

I have a shirt that says "some people are like a slinky...not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs"

I like the saying

Inside this body there's a skinny woman.......but I usually keep her quiet with chocolate.