This poem really means a lot to me, because i've recently been going through something like that. I don't know if its exactly the same thing, but i could really relate to it, and i thought you did a great job.
Hello, overall the poems a great write! i love the rhymes and volcabulary, but i think you can improve it with only a little bit of punctuation.
i think on the third line - second stanza, 'to' should be 'too'.
it would also be a better layout if every 3 or 4 lines or so, were split into stanzas. i want to nominate this poem for the contest, but it will encourage more comments if you just make these minor changes.
i have to say though, the poem is got a very good flow and rhymes and i thoroughly enjoyed reading it, thanks for asking me too!
i am sorry if it is true, hope things get better with time, i like the positive ending =]
take care x
I felt the rhymes were repetitive. For example, you used a lot of words that rhyme with, away, day, play. That sort of thing. It got annoying. I also felt the worlds could have been more advanced. For me I like to see complex or not used as frequently words. I don't even have to know what the words me. In fact it may be better that way because then I will be forced to expand my vocabulary. I just felt the poem was lack luster and the word and rhyming choice took away from the message of the poem. Interesting title though. 2 because I got lost and choice of words.
Very very good i loved it : ) i hate when people try to play mind games on you or get joy out of watching you in pain when all you want is a relationship with them....its heartbraking : / but you did a wonderful job on the poem! 5/5 <33
Omg this poem is amazingly good i loved it! you give each poem its own personalty and flare i love you ryhmes and word choice. the depth of pain and frustration is so real you express emotions beautifully! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx so so so talented! 5/5