I love the story, yes I said story, this is nothing more than a story to me. The way you worded it, the structure, no rhyme scheme (even though a lot of poems don't have one) it just felt like a plain old story to me.

Now don't get me wrong, I loved your vocabulary and the way you worded everything.

The flow was just ok in my eyes, perhaps if you did rhyme it would feel more like a poem. I just don't know what it is about this "poem" but I just don't like the feel of it.

Using puncuation would have made this piece a lot stronger and robust. Yes you have thoughout the poem, but at the end of each stanza/line would be a benifit as well.

Overall not one of you best I felt, but was deffenitly a very well written piece. Keep up the good work, and I'll keep on reading.

Peace, Joe

Very very very nice work I love the sadness and anger that filled this poem.

Look at that honey, once more you're performing for the crowd
^the first line i loved it caught my attention and wanted me to read more

Should get a standing ovation for that splendid performance
^hmm didnt like as much it felt like i wasnt reading much to pair with the first line

Isn't it such a shame that you've yet to realize I've clicked on
^took me some time to understand it but i loved doing that made the poem more poetic well 2 me that is =]

Able to see past your glittering makeup and pretty stage outfits
^ beautiful it tied it off i loved this line

Darling we both know the true colors behind your mask
^this line caught my attention.. it made me think where this story was going a feeling of where made this poem like a book 2 my mind
The next lined that followed i didnt like to much and the last was just as the same but beautfiul stanza

And as I see you staring my way, the switch finally clicks
Know that you know I'm able to see past your falsified beauty
AMAZING loved it =]

now this line is my favortite line out of it all
It's going to be fun to knock you a few pegs of your pedestal

out of all the poem this line knocked the win out of me... had to breathe twice to cool down loved it spectacular

The last stanza kissed the bow tie off for me, it was perfect and the flow was amazing with the final words to say it all amazing write

I'm going to start off with my favourite part of this poem: the sarcastic whit which just oozes out of it. It's splendid. There's a bite throughout this peace, which just screams "You're an ASS", which I loved. In a way it seemed somewhat humorous. As a reader, I felt so happy being on the narrator's side.

"And yet you still have everyone else so pleasantly fooled
Darling we both know the true colors behind your mask
No point hiding your mendacious heart behind that pretty picture
Didn't you realize you have picked the wrong person to fool?"

^^ I didn't like that you used "fooled" and "fool" in this one stanza. I'm sure you could have used a different word in place of "fool". Of course it's up to you, but I just thought I'd point it out.

"Know that you know I'm able to see past your falsified beauty..."

^^ I didn't like that "Know that you know" part. It's confusing, kind of tricks you in the same way a tongue-twister does.

"It's going to be fun to knock you a few pegs of your pedestal..."

^^ Did you mean "off" instead of "of"?

Overall, I really enjoyed this piece. In fact, I'm going to add it to my favourites. The ending especially just caught my attention. I loved it.

To be honest I would not change a single line in this poem. Although I have trouble expressing myself without a rhyme scheme you do not have that limitation and your poem flows very well in free verse. The theme is one that I have no problem relating to. I just got to tell you I am empressed

This was a good piece, i was wishing it was longer but that was out of curisoty haha. I like the metaphor

And yet you still have everyone else so pleasantly fooled
Darling we both know the true colors behind your mask
No point hiding your mendacious heart behind that pretty picture
Didn't you realize you have picked the wrong person to fool?

I suppose alot of people hide their true face or feeling behind masks or walls at some stage in their lives. It was a good read I rated it 5/5

keep up the great writings x

Great poem the woed choice was strong and amazing. The flow was truly great. This poem can be about so many people in the world to day it isn't even funny. Anyways I loved the poem because of that. I did notice to things that could be changed

1st stanza second line I think is suppose to start with "You"

4th stanza 3rd line "of" I think should be "off"

other then that it was amazing 5/5

The last line tied it all togather making this another wonderfully peice, You have a talent for writtinf in this style, your really great. I have to give you 5/5 because the structure was amazing, the vocab was astonishing, and the wit, and sarcasm was agian present, I am not sure what else to say you have completely blown me away. I see no room for improvement Keep up the great work

Wow...
I can deeply relate to this write and that made the whole poem so powerful for me. This is certainly greatly written, definitely one of my favorites from you. Every word seem perfectly picked, and the imagery in each stanza is remarkable. You are always able to create flawless flow even in non-rhyming poems and this piece is not an exception. I truly can't find anything to critique here, the atmosphere, choice of words and rhythm seem superb in every way.
I can't chose my favorite stanza, there are too many profound and effective lines through this piece. The ending is great, it rounds up the whole poem excellently.
Greatly done,
5/5 from me

One Word : Whoa
This poem gave me the shiverrs but it was amazingly written. Great job. Keep up the great work. There wasn't one thing that I didn't like about this poem either.
5/5

It's a good tale. I see no poetry.
It's lovely and all, but I saw no rhyme.

In the end, it may be best if you look over it and see if you can't alter it to see if there is some way to make it a poem.

With the flow of a poem, it would've been far better.

A very beautifuly wirtten poem. Insulting and insightful at the same time.
Its seems like you were directing the poem at someone you know. You know how they act, and you thinks its pathetic.
I loved it.
Very strongly written.

Another very good hard core poem and the message was very well executed. there was a couple of grammer correction that need to be made but it was written well good job Plot121