Comments : The Wait

  • 16 years ago

    by Boy

    Her heart no longer mourns
    For the life she had before
    She was just an observer
    Watching from a distant shore

    ==specially== the line
    "Watching from a distant shore"

    sometimes we try hard to find someone but they dont come in our lives. maybe becoz God knows why?
    sometime in the shore of this world. there would be one heart that keep silence amond thousands of noises. that heart is the broken heart. that talk alone to itself...

    "watching from a distance shore" reflects alot of deepness..
    i often use this type of words in my poem i.e "watching alone on the shore"
    and i only can understand the meaning of it..
    excellent piece of work...

  • 16 years ago

    by Lu

    Quietly sobs when she's alone
    Thinking no one else can hear
    Family feels her pain daily
    Yet they can't erase her fears
    ^^^
    ~Wipes tear~ Yes I can hear dear heart, and I know you try so hard to mask the sadness. The eyes may be the window to the soul but .... the voice is the window to the heart.

    Longing to see her smile again
    Hoping for better days ahead
    In their hearts they know
    Peace will come when she is dead
    ^^^
    This part makes my heart ache dear friend. For I know you dream of the days when those loving arms will hold you tight once again but darling .... God needs Angels on earth too.

    She tells them all is Okay
    They know that she pretends
    She is trying to protect them
    As she waits for life to end
    ^^^
    This ending is both wrote and read through tears, for I know because half of those tears are mine.
    Cindy you've penned a write that touches my heart, not only because the words are so very heart wrenching but also because I know they live within your heart.
    Much love beautiful lady,
    Luanne

  • 16 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Cindy this is all too true as I see it....I know how you feel everyday that passes without John.....hope your poetry and friendships bring you some peace.....

  • 16 years ago

    by Sora

    Wow! i love your work. this poem is amazing.

  • 16 years ago

    by shobhana kumar

    My dear Cindy,
    you write with so much pain in your verse, it's not easy to understand what life can inflict on people.

    Yet, my dear friend, love always abounds. Stretch out your arms and the whole world will be waiting out there.

    a very touching write
    good luck, love and peace
    shobhana

  • 16 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Cindy,

    Sometimes I forget how young you stil are...
    I wish I had a magical wand then I would cure you and bring John back for you:)

    Love, always

    Ingrid

  • 16 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    "Years have been unkind to her
    Leaving a shell in her place
    Love snatched away too soon
    Haunting sadness on her face"
    ...
    Knowing she belongs by his side
    As they listen to her pray"
    ..
    ^^so beautifully you hv described the emotions you are goin through...

    "She tells them all is Okay
    They know that she pretends
    She is trying to protect them
    As she waits for life to end"

    ^ very hearfelt...

    wish life gives you more reason to smile...

  • 16 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Wow, excellent write with so much imagery and feeling within. Your choice of words was simple yet had a deep impact against the reader. The flow was flawless in my opinion as well as the structure. Overall a nice write, however; I felt it could of been a lot stronger with puncuation throughout. Keep up the great writes.

    Peace, Joe

  • 16 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Such a piece of sorrow. The flow was good and this one will definetly tug at ones heartstrings. It makes me wanna cry :(

  • 16 years ago

    by reJoyce

    Hey cynthia I just want whoever you are to know that your work is truly incredible and never give up. to prove it, you can be the first to read my latest poem that i just finished after reading yours:

    4/16/08 Just Tell Me It'll Be OK

    As this violent storm rages in my head
    I ponder the words
    I've yet to have said

    Thrashing twister devours the sky
    Until your presence
    Brings me into the storms eye

    A temporary peace to encompass my soul
    Before time's perpetual progress
    Yields its role.

  • 16 years ago

    by NinjaGirl

    This piece really touched me 5/5 another amazing piece, Cindy

    xD Happy Thoughts xD
    As Always,
    ~NinjaGirl~

  • 16 years ago

    by XxMoonLightxX

    I really liked this poem. The emotion was really intense and i am all about emotion when i write and read poetry!
    This poem is really inspring to me...I Love you work!
    great job
    5/5

    -Shannon-
    ~MoonLight~

  • 16 years ago

    by BlEeDiNg FoR tHe OnE i LoVe

    This is great i loved it keep writing 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by unspokken

    I think that this poem was very well written and thought about. Give it full marks. The detail is rich and wipe the smile off my face. But I still loved it. :D

  • 16 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    Her heart no longer mourns
    For the life she had before
    She was just an observer
    Watching from a distant shore

    I am sure this stanza had the power to make you get up from your sleep and jott down right at that very moment, lovely poem dear, could feel the sadness and thats what made me so late in commenting, cant see u sad.

    all the best and take care

  • 16 years ago

    by Prasad Baadkar

    A journey in time.... Sumtimes it feels funny rather than sad with what happens to us.. humanz..... When will time n circumstances change... Hope that hope changes... sumthings..

    A well written journey...

    Keep writing... Best wishz

  • 16 years ago

    by Ashley

    This remids me of my sister...good poem

  • 16 years ago

    by XxSINISTERxX

    Awsome 5/5 :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Cotton Candy Clouds

    Very good poem
    had great flow and rhyme
    sad meaning though : /
    5/5 <33

  • 16 years ago

    by C P Sharma

    True 'emotions recollected in tranquility'. It is poetry of the highest order the perfectly portays the sad state of your. Shelley has rightly said:
    "Our sweetest songs are those that tell of the saddest thought."