Wow! Wow, I even don't know what to say, this is endlessly powerful, and poem gets even more remarkable with each stanza. I admire uniqueness of this one and the way you wrote it is impressive.

-Bubbles of tranquil love caress the temples of passions veins,
Mystifying blood cells while relaxing upon forbidden arteries,
Particles of the nights skies mesmerize within echoing sound,
Capturing your embrace while I slumber in our secluded serenity.-

^ Fantastic start you pulled me right into this piece with captivating and complex description. I think that -Particles of the nights skies- should be -Particles of the night's skies-
Here you started to built truly impressionable atmosphere.

-Kiss my lips drenched in wine for I'm now falling even harder,
"Don't catch me" I'll whisper, for I like where I'm reaching,
I'm like a shooting star dancing, upon the image of your eyes,
This lullaby so pure shall spark these infinite burning flames.-

^I honestly thought that first stanza will be my favorite one but this part is even more fascinating, so vividly and originally written, every line is simply beautifully dark.

-"Mirror, Mirror on the wall" they'll hush to such purples cheeks,
As I'll reply with a tone which wisps Scarlett curtains away,
"He's the fairest of them all" No, it is not you, nor is it I,
For he is the King of darkness and I, I am his faithful Queen.-

^Just wow! Amazingly written, this is my favorite stanza, ending lines left me without words, you somehow embedded so deep thoughts in whole stanza, I don't understand what you try to say with whole poem, but I have my own interpretation of meaning of this poem and I must say you, once again, absolutely impressed me.

Here I noticed some of the same descriptions has the poem after it, maybe I should have read them from oldest to newest but here: tranquil, arteries, etc. If you want to say heart, do not be afraid to say heart. If you want to say calm, do not be afraid to say calm. Nobody says you have to have a high vocab but if the word fits use it whether a common word or an uncommon word.

Again, it sounds as though you are directing the entire scene: Kiss my lips, capturing your embrace, they'll hush. The only reason I say this is because I spent a couple of years as a film student, and I was stuck with writing scenes, so to me, you could rewrite this part:

Kiss my lips drenched in wine for I'm now falling even harder,
"Don't catch me" I'll whisper, for I like where I'm reaching,
I'm like a shooting star dancing, upon the image of your eyes,
This lullaby so pure shall spark these infinite burning flames.

To something like:

With drenched lips, a kiss begs,
I tumble harder
Do not catch me etc

The last stanza was probably the best out of this, which is good I know I can't end a poem right but your ending was pretty good.

Wow!
again with the vocabulary
it was just phenominal
I...wow...uh
I'm literaly speechless
I hate to repeat myself
but everything was amazing
the picture was portrayed VERY well
It wasn't boring and i was an interesting write
nice job
5/5

I'll start with the critics because I only have one: I noticed one typo in the third stanza- should the word 'dcarlett' be scarlet...?

Overall, this poem is breathtaking. The imagery that you portrayed is endlessly vivid and I could clearly imagine every greatly written line. I like your choice of words, too. Whole poem is truly compact but I wished it was longer cause it was getting better and better through every line.
The atmosphere that you created is dark yet very captivating.

My favorite stanza is:

- Kiss my lips drenched in wine for I'm now falling even harder,
"Don't catch me" I'll whisper, for I like where I'm reaching,
I'm like a shooting star dancing, upon the image of your eyes,
This lullaby so pure shall spark these infinite burning flames.-
^^^
Beautifully dark. Every word seem perfectly picked and the imagery blew my mind. Your descriptions here are remarkable.

I like the ending line, too because it makes fantastic conclusion and summary of the whole poem.
All in all, amazingly done.
5/5 from me

Love it

I Love It.

I absolutley loved this poem it has awsome vocab.

First of all, I love the serene atmosphere you've created in this poem. Second of all, great word choices. Third of all... (here we go!)

Stanza 1:
"Bubbles of tranquil love caress the temples of passions veins,"
A warm start, gives the reader a snug feeling with 'bubbles' and 'tranquil'.
"Mystifying blood cells while relaxing upon forbidden arteries,"
This line is odd. 'blood cells' and 'arteries' tossed me out of the flow completely, and the way you incorporated "soft" words into the verse was strange... I suggest reworking this bit.
"Particles of the night's skies mesmerize within echoing sound, "
*dies* Simply beau-ti-ful.
"Capturing your embrace while I slumber in our secluded serenity."
I paused a bit at 'slumber', but it's a verb as well as a noun so that's fine.

Stanza 2:
"Kiss my lips drenched in wine for I'm now falling even harder,"
'drenched in wine' was especially interesting, it gave me a vision of intoxicated faeries lost in the mist.
"This lullaby so pure shall spark these infinite burning flames."
A hopeful line. Fire is often associated with freedom and passion, and these images are nicely captured here.

Stanza 3:
"they'll hush to such purples cheeks,"
Pretty and warm, again.
"a tone which wisps scarlett curtains away"
Do you mean 'whisk'?
Bold but elegant ending, even if I understood nothing of it.

Good job!

I don't think I can muster a long enought comment like the others but I can say this:
It was like reading a vocabulary lesson, a very beautiful one.
I was ble to point out the rhymes, no matter how slant they are.

It may've not been a traditional poem, but it was a great poem.