Comments : Andy Warhol

  • 9 years ago

    by Love vs Fate

    Oh my word, This poem is touching. I am adding this to my favorites hun. I so so so sorry that this happen. I don't know how you could possibly be feeling. :'( As for the poem, the stanza you used were outstanding. You chose great words of wisdom. 5/5 for such a wonderful poem.

  • 9 years ago

    by Perfection

    This is a very tricky way to write... TO actually be able to rhyme facts like years and dates is very impressive... you are very skilled with words
    The flow was very good at all places. Story was chronological an consistant and at the same time very beautifull

    A very touching story worthy of high praise

    I guess when something is so dear to one.. the words just come by themselves cause I do not believe anybody could have writen this the way you did

    I aplaude you

  • 9 years ago

    by robin milford

    Very touching well written

  • 9 years ago

    by adroit

    I'm not into that whole early pop art sort of thing, but I do believe in giving credit where credit is due. Great, informative yet flowing poem. Honest Luck.

    Sarah

  • 9 years ago

    by Yeka

    Love it truly great gob love your poems keep it up (^_^)

  • 8 years ago

    by Fluffy

    Hello :) First time I'm reading your poetry, I know it's random of me to pick something that's from last year, but I've always loved Andy Warhol's work, so why not, eh? :)

    I quite like the way you started off; the use of question is an effective device to immediately grasp the reader's attention. You almost universalize the poem from the first line, developing a depth. Nice.

    Warhola? Lol, typo? :) But I'm surprised no one pointed that out in their comments! I understand that this a poem with a biographical element, but I don't feel that third line is entirely necessary. What you could've done (and possibly still do) is revise that, and maybe give a brief description of his childhood - (I know you go on to discuss that in the next stanza, but maybe this would allow for more development of ideas? I don't even know if that makes sense! PM me and I'll try and explain myself properly, lol).
    "The art word soon to be torn." I liked this, although I think a bit more elaboration would've sufficed. 'Torn' is good, but exactly how? Maybe you could attach a sense of emotion here?

    This is where I got a slightly concerned. I do quite like how you portray his childhood, but it's a difficult part to enjoy as you employ full stops after every sentence, and that greatly falters the sense of rhythm you try to develop. Refrain from the full stops; you can always utilise the comma or semi-colon when appropriate :)

    "Behind mother's skirt he hid." - Good image, I definitely sensed his fear as a child who was different to others. However, the next line: "Soon to them he would surprise" seemed a little forced, and because of that I think the flow messed up a little.

    The only thing I'd point out in the next two stanzas is that you speak in the second person again. The change from "you" to "he" to "you" again isn't an effective method, and I'm not completely engrossed in the poem the way I should be because of that.

    "You even said it was to be a goodbye.
    You were only 58 when you were sent to heaven." My concern with the last stanza was that you didn't maintain that sense of development that you possessed earlier; and as a result, the end seemed rather rushed. I didn't actually understand "you even said it was to be goodbye", for which reason I felt no sympathy, and I think I should've done.

    Overall, a promising write. Some very effective parts indeed, well done :)