This is freaking amazing... the imagery is like nothering i've ever mentally seen your words made this so real... very very good... 5/5

This is really really really good!
i loved it!!
i could actually imagine what was happenin..
all i have to say is keep up the good work!!
=]

THATS THE F-ING BOMBEST POEM EVER ITS TIZ-ITE LOL AND I LIVE IT VARY MUCH wooooohoooo!!! rock on lol

10/5

Wow this is amazing.. so many people write rhyming poems that just dont sound right.. but this sounds perfect.. really enjoyed it 5/5

The rhyming in this piece was absolutely flawless. You pretty much managed to tell a story without anything seeming forced, and still able to keep a steady pace.

There were just a few things I'd like to point out, which I think would maybe help you with the flow, not that it needs much work:

"Wire slices though my heart[,] these strings cut to the bone..."
^ I would put a comma after 'heart'.

"My limbs they scream in agony, these routines I find a bore..."
^ I don't like the use of the word "bore" here, as I feel that when talking about being bored, when somebody is being tormented and in agony... well, just just doesn't seem to fit.

"Throwing me in this coffin[,] tangled in blood soaked strings..."
^ I would also put a comma after 'coffin'.

--

Apart from those small things, though, I found this piece to be brilliant. ^_^

Ohmy, this amazing poem i've read so far. it is as if i can picture the life of a doll.

especially this: My limbs they scream in agony, these routines I find a bore
I cry so desperately for their help yet they clap and cheer for more

perfect. (:

Wow this poem is amazing!
I love it, each stanza is amzing!

I guess i just need to agree with everyone else...WOW...it builds and gets stronger with each stanza and has wonderful meaning keep it up...i can't wait for more

Whoa. This is.. creepy. Haha. I liked it, though. It was unique.

"Each new day brings tourment, each night an empty dream
For one person to turn around and here this voiceless scream"

-- In the first line, "torment" is misspelled.

That's the only error I could find throughout the piece. Great job. Five out of five.

``Briana

OOOoo this gave me the chills big time
Such a wicked poem, great job your on my favs list!!
Oh and everything about this poemwas perfect no flaws!!

This is an amazing poem that I can really relate to when darkness pulls my strings

This rhyme and flow are flawless
This would look good on the front page of an anthology

Great poem! You have chosen the words so well, great imagery.
"clumsy stitches " Favourite part, a great way to describe it. 5/5

"Darkness threads through my skin, my master hangs me alone
Wire slices though my heart these strings cut to the bone"

flawless imagery. these lines left me speechlessly gasping.

"My limbs they scream in agony, these routines I find a bore
I cry so desperately for their help yet they clap and cheer for more"

wow, i envisioned the helplessness with the simple yet powerful imagery of the words "clap" and "cheer"

"Each new day brings tourment, each night an empty dream
For one person to turn around and here this voiceless scream"

i like the voiceless scream in empty dreams. it flows so well with with the first line.

"The darkness creates a blanket, my creator maliciously grins
Throwing me in this coffin tangled in blood soaked strings"

i love your description of the place he stores you in. hauntingly dark.

"A creation, a doll, a worthless toy, unloved without a soul
These clumsy stitches are falling apart for this girl no longer whole"

brilliant! i love how you compare the clumsy stitches to this creation that is unwanted.

wonderfully penned. your gifted. 5/5

I'm sure we've all felt like puppets on a string from time to time, can't control our own actions or make our own choices even though we think we can. Excellent job 5/5 GG23

"Each new day brings tourment, each night an empty dream
For one person to turn around and here this voiceless scream"
That is my favorite stanza, and its also the best.
The first two sets of lines set a barrier that the last two groups of lines didn;'t meet.

"The darkness creates a blanket, my creator maliciously grins
Throwing me in this coffin tangled in blood soaked strings"
The second line there, it didn't fit with the complexity of the rest. It was empty compared to the others. I felt no emotion, it was weak.

"A creation, a doll, a worthless toy, unloved without a soul
These clumsy stitches are falling apart for this girl no longer whole"
The end was rather weak, I expected something set in stone, and beautiful, strong and forceful. The end, it just stopped. It was plain, and common. I don't think it suits.
This is a nicely written beginning.
4/5
lexie

AHHH!! I Friggin LOVE this poem!!! Kudos for you. ;]

I thought your comparison was really good.
my favourite line :
Each new day brings tourment, each night an empty dream
For one person to turn around and here this voiceless scream

i enjoyed reading it very much.

never stop writing.

This is amazing, i don't really have alot to say but GREAT JOB!!! oh and the flow was good too, I love all the imagery I can see this puppet show in my head... 5/5

Wow, this is truly an amazing piece of work. I have read through it and thought about what it could mean, I think I know what the underlying tone is.

This is a good poem and i really like it, you got added to my favorites and you're also a nice person.

Wow, this is truly an amazing piece of work. I have read through it and thought about what it could mean, I think I know what the underlying tone is.

This is a good poem and i really like it, you got added to my favorites and you're also a nice person.