Comments : Catching The Butterfly

  • 9 years ago

    by CHEMICALcaitlin

    Wow, i liked this even more than the last poem! This is so heartfelt and i can tell the emotions are real.

    You have an amazing talent and i hope you never stop writing. Beautiful poem. I dont know what else to say other than definitly a 5/5!!! Caitlin =)

  • 9 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "Alas dusk decends within the eyes,
    Descending
    Decling
    Falling."
    -Oh, beautiful, beautiful way to put this! I thought this was amazing. You said.. "..dusk descends.." then you even go further by saying other words like if it's getting lower. :] Nice job. Hmm, however.. did you mean to say declining? :)

    "When stars diverged into midnight,
    You first held unity in palm."
    -Diverged.. hmm.. nice word choice. :] This poem is beautiful.

    "I caught pink butterflies.
    Tumbling
    Turning
    Twisting."
    -Ohh, nice! You used this idea again. Like you did earlier in your poem. I like it. :)

    Beautiful poem. :) 5/5.

  • 9 years ago

    by Blissful

    Yay a love poem! :]

    1st Stanza.
    Beautiful opening stanza. It captivated me wanting to read more. Your word choice was exquisite and the rhythm you created throughout just flowed flawlessly and was effective in getting your message across. The way you described the sunset as antique was unique and painted a beautiful image in my mind.

    2nd Stanza.
    I liked how this stanza was different from the one before because it created a different rhythm and imagery. Your expression of beauty was flawless in the words you used truly conveying the emotions you felt.

    "stellar dance upon lips,"
    ^ I loved how that sounded when I read it out loud while it just naturally flowed off my tongue.

    3rd Stanza.
    Aww beautiful way to end this flawess piece. I liked how this stanza was like the first because it contrasted nicely with your second stanza. I loved the imagery and the expression of your emotions. The last line just blew me away because it might be simple but I could tell it help an immense amount of meaning.

    "darkness holds beauty of its own."
    ^Beautiful and unique line. It stood out to me the most even though each line was flawless.

    Nicely written my dear.
    Another wonderful love poem by you.
    Please write more!
    *5/5*
    :]

  • 9 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    I haven't read some of your pieces in a while, and I find that this piece ... the style is different from the long stanzas I've read from you in the past, but with even less words, you still create a beautiful, potent emotion that just reaches for me as I'm reading through this poetic lexis that you've created.

    Descending
    Declining
    Falling.
    `it's so effective, and it creates such stunning imagery. these words screamed at me ... and yet all the same, they seemed to whisper in a gentle breeze.

    darkness holds beauty of its own.
    `these sort of ... creative twists on words are hard to write. this reminded me of a lyric that stood out to me before, "there's beauty in the breakdown." the irony but the truth of something just captivating being able to lie within an evil is a striking image, and a beautiful metaphor.

    The way you ended it -- that last stanza, was absolutely breathtaking. The emotions and the pictures that you portray are just .... beyond words.

    Beautiful write. Absolutely stunning.
    ..__MiNDYY

  • 8 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "Antique sunsets of your sincere heart;
    hold depth alike moonlights glow."

    Gorgeous imagery here and I love how you use the unique words "antique sunsets", very orginal, which drew me in!

    "Alas dusk decends within the eyes,
    Descending
    Declining
    Falling.
    Into purple emperors of you."

    Perfect imagery here, having those words "descending etc" really created a great effect and kept me reading on.

    "When stars diverged into midnight,
    You first held unity in palm.
    I watch stellar dance upon lips,
    Never blinking a lash, incase;
    you disappeared into the light.
    A monarch of your beauty."

    Great descriptions, I feel like I'm right there watching all this! I'm so breathlessly speechless...

    "That moment I came to realize;
    darkness holds beauty of its own.
    Slowly becoming transparent,
    I caught pink butterflies.
    Tumbling
    Turning
    Twisting.
    Falling in love with you."

    Wonderful ending, again writing those three words there was stunning! Not much more I can say, this like all your poems are mind-blowing and flawless to me! 5/5 from me..