Comments : One Thing

  • 9 years ago

    by Sharon

    This was good keep writing!

  • 9 years ago

    by NicoleBaby101

    Wow that was unexcpecting. all i can really say is wow!!! great job

  • 9 years ago

    by XxXMissSweetPeaXxX

    Awww thats so sad im sorry...and i love it..its so goin on my fav's..but i can relate..soo like yea keep up the good work..5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by S R P

    Oh wow, this was truly amazing. I particularly liked

    "One thing you should know before I let you be
    Regardless of your friends, I'll always be real
    You have your own eyes, so use them to see
    The one thing that's most important is how you feel "

    Great poem, i really loved it.

  • Omg,this is really wonderful...and sooo true...
    You are really good...
    5/5
    :]

  • 9 years ago

    by Chelsea King

    That is one of the best poems i have ever read!! You have a really good talent that most people would take for granted, but you took it and make it into a beautiful peace of work!! Definatly a 5/5!!

  • 9 years ago

    by Robert Anthony

    Nice! This was a really great poem, nice job, 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Shellaine shelli

    This poem was like daggers stabbing the reader and keeping them captivated to read on. each word was as powerful if not more than the last. It was amazing!!!

  • 9 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This one has a nice rhythm and I can tell it is about a personal disappointment

  • 9 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    "I can't help but to hide
    Or try to make things right
    I can't let go of the memories
    Or grab on to those ones on your sight"

    -- I gotta be honest -- this made no sense to me. The last line completely threw me off. I'm a little slow, though. rofl. :D

    "With all my strength
    I can't let you go
    Love has its own length
    I'd think you would know"

    -- I think you should change "I'd" to "I" and "think" to "thought". "I thought you would know"

    "I only wish you had more for me
    And less for them
    Because I'm the only one to see
    Your inside hem"

    -- I think you should even up these lines a bit. It'd look better. But that's the only negative thing I have to say.

    "One thing I can do is read your heart
    I can also tell whether you're hurt
    Or when you need time to part"

    -- I think you should add another line here. I'm not a big fan of poems that have stanza's with different number of lines.

    *Overall, I thought this was good. Again, the rhyming was good, as was the flow. The emotion was strong, which is always an awesome thing in a poem

    Five out of five. [5/5]

    ``Briana