I often don't read my own poems but there are a few that I read every once in a way because they always seem to make me think, make me emotional. I really like this piece because we often don't realize that just because somebody is smiling doesn't mean there happy. The eyes really tell the whole story and it's a shame most people don't care enough ot even glance. Excellent poem I could elate to it all so well :) 5/5 GodsGift23
Wow girly that was amazing!!!! it was very deep and worded perfectly. you did a wonderful job on it. it was truly outstanding!! id have to say thats up there with the favs of mine of urs... keep it up!!! 5/5 always
This is quite sad. It really brought back some hard memories but I mean that is exactly what poetry should be: picking out pieces and having them relate to your life and speak to you. i do have a suggestion: in the last line of the second stanza I would have written "That is living deep within me" it flows a little better and then third line of the fifth stanza where you say "Im trying to put back together the pieces of this puzzle of life" I would take out "the pieces of" again I think it might flow a little better. Like always if you want explanation just ask.
Wow. Well as soon as I read it I was like "Damn that was great." As I read it I could just picture you writing in your diary and I can understand why you cried when you read it. The emotions were felt throughout this poem and it just invites you to read further and further. It really tackles the issue of identity and it can be hard so well done. Excellent work
"Can you see the visible lies that have broken my spirit?
And the pain that always seems to find me?
My eyes tell you all of this,
Just take a glance into them, and you will see."
This is my favorite stanza^^
This poem is honestly the most touching thing I've ever read. Beautiful. Amazing. And every word that's a synonym to beautiful or amazing. It makes sense that you cried after reading this. It brought a tear to my eye and I don't cry very often.
I can relate to this in many ways.
When i first saw this poem, i thought it would be nothing special, but as i progressed through it, i realized how special it was. i like your idea of someone telling another to look into their eyes and say what they saw. and i liked how you asked if they saw this or if they saw that. it really is a special piece.
some of the rhyming seemed a little bit forced, but most of it was brilliant.
"Now, look into my eyes,
And tell me what you see.
Can you see the darkness,
That lives deep within me?
Can you see all my haunting dreams?
Or all the secrets locked in my heart?
Im trying to put back together this puzzle of life,
Can my eyes tell you how I start?"
^^ ^^ ^^ ^^
These two were my absolutely favourite stanzas.
i could feel the emotion that you put into this and the description was amazing,
This is a really good poem, strong yet sad. You can get so much from looking into someone's eyes, what they're really feeling inside and whatnot. And it's a true shame how sometimes people don't really see them. And so they don't ever really look at YOU. I really loved how ended this by changing the focus to another person. I'm trying to pick my favorite line or stanza, but I really can't. I enjoyed everything.