Wow that is so far one of my favorite poems. I wish I had a friend who was that true and loving. You have a lot of talent. I love "I will be your candle to show you the way for you I will melt and die to shine your days". It is actually so good that I wish I could say it were one of my lines.
Wow! 23 I's and forced rhyming throughout the piece....A nice dedication to your friend but as far as rhythm, flow and creativity, I have to say there wasn't any. Maybe try to rewrite it without forcing all the rhymes and remove all those unnecessary filler words.