Comments : Living for you

  • 10 years ago

    by Unamed

    Haha..well im kinda in that situation.. ur forum u asked for help to see how u can make ur poems better..

    heres my opinion, altho u dont have to use it..

    umm i realize that this poem is in slang, but i think its a bit distracting with all the constant might make it better if u wrote it out completly..i don t know, might wanna try it..

    once again, u dont ave to use this..

    <3 Aly

  • 10 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Definetly the second, I think you should write the words out and not just put "u" or something like that, it makes the poem easier to read and it looks better.

  • 10 years ago

    by Catastrophic Beauty

    The second is better. Readers enjoy poems more when proper language is used. It shows that you are more serious about writing and it just looks better. Also not many people comment in the slang poem section of this site so you have better chances of people commenting and rating your poetry in a more visited section.

    I don't know if you wanting us to vote for this but I will anyway based on the second version. I give a 4/5. I hope you take my advice into consideration and maybe praise my comment.

    Take Care!
    Shannon <3

  • 10 years ago

    by Unamed

    I like it this way!..haha

    great job!