Comments : My Unseen Child

  • 9 years ago

    by Perfection

    Amazing choice of words and a very tricky rhyming piece to pull of. You can see when people put soul into their poems. Very well done =)

  • 9 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    Wow. This is amazingly written. It says so much, in so few words. The choice of words is great, also.

    And, I must say that I'm terribly sorry you won't get to see your child. Is there anything worse? :[

    Great job on this, really. It's emotional, as is expected when writing about something like this, but in any case, it's beautiful.

    Five out of five.

    ``Briana

  • 9 years ago

    by X Kashies Misery X

    :/ i didn't really find it that great to be dead honest...I mean I liked the wording and so but other wise, I think you really wrecked it by not making it a longer poem..it would be a lot better, really good if you created something out of that small fraze..

    nice though,
    just a suggestion
    x

  • 9 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    Clever. Short, blunt and to the point. A powerful piece here. Excellent job. It grabs the reader and tugs on the heartstrings. I love how the rhyming is not forced, yet the last word of each line rhymes. ~~Claps~~

  • 9 years ago

    by Lizzi

    I disagree. I think this poem is made by how few words you've written. I can feel the emotion and meening of the poem so why weigh it down with uneccessary writing. Great job.

  • 9 years ago

    by TheBarefootedCowgirl

    So simple and short, yet so much emotion can de displayed.
    great work 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by x Mo x

    That was very good. Very rhythmic. I liked the subtle beat it had to it when I said it out loud.

    The message was very cryptic. (I hear that's a good thing though.) I didn't exactly understand where it was going, and the only way I understood it at the end was because of my family situation. The poem was really good and kind of showed me the other side of the cases I fight in.

    Great job!

    -Mo-

  • 9 years ago

    by shenoa

    Great flow and I liked your choice of words.

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    That is the most painful thing..not been able to see your child. A moving write and I like your choice of words which portrays your pain..take care.

  • 9 years ago

    by Lyn

    A very good poem, it's strength is in its brevity. Poems are like sermons they don't need to be long to communicate the message or the emotions. The last line got me in the heart. So sad from such promise. We need to be careful where we plant our seeds. Thank you.