Comments : Anticlimactic

  • 9 years ago

    by Melissa

    This is so incredibly touching, sad, beautiful. Oh, I could go on and on with the adjectives... So many brilliant lines!

    "You held my life
    in you're palm
    and yet you lost yours.
    Pathetic, the way
    revolving doors swing."

    ^^^I just love the way you worded this. Oh, and the ending is perfect. Very well written...

  • 9 years ago

    by Blissful

    The sadness in this piece was so alive in your flawless choice of words. What a touching and heart breaking write! I could tell this was scripted from your heart because everything sounded so honest and true. I loved the form you wrote in, it was different than what you usually see which made it that much more interesting to read. It all flowed so flawlessly and I read it a couple of more times to truly grasp its meaning.

    "You held my life
    in you're palm
    and yet you lost yours."
    ^This was written so beautifully! Such meaning behind such a simple phrase. I loved your choice of words here....crafted flawlessly. What irony in your words...I applaud you!

    I truly enjoyed this write Mel. I hope everything is okay though. :/ The sadness is felt so real to me and I hope its not something you're experiancing.

    Well done.
    *5/5* :]

  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "I awoke,
    to the presence
    of a ghost."

    This is very captivating to open up with, you have me grasping each and every word.

    "Darling don't go."
    -You incinerate me.
    How can something
    so beautiful
    haunt my soul.
    Anticlimactic.
    "Darling don't leave."
    I can't breathe.
    -Goodbye."

    Wow, what deeply felt emotions here, excellent wording that really moved me.

    "Another nightmare,
    Where could you be?"

    I love the question tagged on, really adds great effect.

    "Darling don't go"

    Love how you repeat this line, beautiful.

    "Every time I wake
    you expire into the
    nothingness you came.
    Sometimes life seems
    pointless; Tiring.
    "Darling don't leave"
    I can't breathe.
    Goodbye."

    I'm breathless, you have written such a heartbreaking masterpiece. So many brilliant stanzas that have been joyful to read. 5/5 from me, take care.

  • 9 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Very intense and intruguing write ...
    capturing the reader's attention from starting to the last ...

    "Forevers not so bad"
    -I promise.
    ^^ I loved these lines so much... it speaks so much ... pain ... pleasure... beautifully blended..

    "You held my life
    in you're palm
    and yet you lost yours."
    ^^ awww these are so touching lines... it really touched my heartstrings ... beautifully penned...

    "you expire into the
    nothingness you came."

    ^^another set of deep moving lines ...

    awesome work