How much more can I take?

How many more times can I hit the wall?
How many more cracks can my mask take?
How much more damage can I do to myself?

Your so dumb that your blind
Can't you see that my heart is yours?
Of course not all I am is a 'good sister'

Your my brothers best friend
You didn't have to put up with me
But you did, I don't know when or how,

Sadly and painfully I like you.
And I'm sorry, I really don't want to.
But I can't help it.

I've told you before, sorta...
You never remember, but thats okay...
I don't mind the pain...I can fix it

Walls work well you should see my hand
Knuckles swollen, starting to bruise
A game with my pup works well too.

Physical damage hurts less.
But its necessary to dull one pain with another.
So its what I do, not to feel.

At times all I want is to stab myself
Your the reason and your the reason I don't
Please tell me how to end the pain!

Music. Dance. Destruction.
Are the means I use to distract myself.
But do the work? Yes

That is until a song reminds me of you.
I realize I dance for you.
Destruction too, I've seen what you can do.

Everything at some point reminds me of you
But I'm gonna keep my mask in place,
And my walls built high

And try not to think of the pain inside.