The over all message of the poem is fantastic , and I really like the title . But , some of the flow is really off , and alot of your rhymes are forced . You need to try and think a little more naturally , because then your writting will flow alot better . 3/5 for this one .
I can understand whewre you are coming from. A great title too!
Once again I feel your rhymes are forced so I am thinking you should just let your mind think even if it does take 30 mins or longer, it will mean your poem will have more flow and it will also be easier to read. But I still think certain aspects of the poem were really good, you hit all the emotions you feel when losing a friend head on, so good job there.
Amazing poem! With it you expressed everything that I have botteled up inside right now!
I agree with the comment above that it feels like the rhymes are forced. I would not advise you that you sit down and think more about the rhymes, but to forget the rhyming and just write from the heart. I think that poems that don't rhyme are just as good as the ones that does. The message and the feelings in the poems are the most important things!