Somehow so much more of you, as a person, is shining through in this verse, MaryAnne. I think Temps gave you some very solid advice when she told you to go free verse..

Our inseparable souls
Weave melodies filled
With sentimental lyrics
That were engraved upon
Angels' satin wings

^^
Most beautiful stanza in the poem, but in fact all stanza's were written very eloquently!

Rock on, girl:)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

Now THIS is the way you should write, I personally perfer this over the repetitive forms! This was amazing.. my favorite line was about the lipstick stained sheets. Such vivid imagery in this piece.. woow beautifully written! Keep writing free verse.. I believe thats where you write best! I'm so glad you went for it and tried one :) It came out amazingly. You should be proud.

5/5.

Wow this is a really descibtive poem the imagery is so clear theres so much sencuallity in it and the emotion is so rich and powerful the rythem is smooth and flows really well and the structure is really well laid out within the poem

well done 5/5

Sunshine seeps through
The facade generously
Streaming with buoyancy
Shielding us willfully
'Til it can bear no more.

*This stanza was flawless. I love the way you worded this. The alliteration is a nice touch as well. I love the imagery. It's so soft and sweet. This is a very lovely poem and so well written. Beautiful work hun. Nik*

I really love this poem..I really love the first line "Lipstick stained sheets"...WOW!!!!...This is my favorite one from you...keep writing always...

Vanessa

Everything about this poem was fantastic, your use of words, the flow and the imagery. Excellent job.

Great poem. 5/5.

Dude-seriously-you are 14 years old!!!!!!!!!!
this is amazing!!!!!!!!!!

again-i dont think i can fault it. the vocab is great, story is passionate, intriguing and expressed very well.

another 5/5 girl
very impressive

aish
xx