Unimportant

T^T

Wow....
That seriously blew me away. Especially the ending

"I need you to pretend
I was important to you..."

This was such a unique poem. So so powerful, seriously one of the best i've ever read. You are unbelievably talented. And this was incredible.

5/5

I speak loudly. Clearly.
But you will never hear
what screams inside my soul.
The words I so desperately
need to say the words I
want you to hold.
My mixed emotions
shriek in a frenzy
beneath my still tongue.
I need you to listen to me
for once...
*When we are feeling lonely and depressed we always feel that no matter how loud you shout about your emotions no one will listen, hear or even understand us. So we just don't seem to speak at all and just silently hope and wish that they will hear our silent screams. But we always want them to listen ... powerful opening.*
I can only speak what
I feel. Nothing less...
nothing more. I am
only what you see here--
no illusions or impressions
just this afraid to be
judged brittle to the bone
girl. Just this one girl.
I need you to notice me
before my reflection fades.
*We are all unique in our own way whether we are 'depressed' or not. People should give us the benefit of the doubt and try and understand why we feel like we do at times. Another powerful and heartfelt stanza*
I will not put on a different
face or obtain a varied
formation for your acceptance.
I cannot assume you will
understand me--
for at times complexity
keeps me from seeing my own
skin. This skin I wear everyday.
I need you to remember me
when I just want to forget all
*I like how you portray that you aren't going to change or pretend to change for anybody and that's good. I also like how you say you don't even fully understand yourself. We need to accept ourselves before others do but still I understand they shouldn't judge. Wonderfully written and portrayed image.*
I try to blend into the
world around me, but oil
will never mix with water.
I will never belong here.
I have found my place
beneath green crushed grass
and brown worm filled
dirt. I will become
the earth and you will never
know what it was like
to hear my silent voice.
I need you to pretend
I was important to you...

Please.
*I really liked how you say you try to blend in but "oil will never mix with water" such a beautiful imagery and very unique. I also like the way you say you've found your place 6ft under but the way you say it is again unique. Nobody would have thought of it like that ... "beneath green crushed grass and brown worm filled dirt." Such an emotional end to an emotional poem. Very good job, 5/5, Em

Very emotive, I loved the message you conveyed with this poem, thoughts I think most of us have felt at different times of our lives, free flowing and reads well,

I'm not normally into suggesting changes in poems as it can be a little in your face but felt the following verse had a number of filler words that could be left out, which in my opinion (only)would help the construction, flow and rhythm without interrupting your message

I will not put on a different face
Obtain varied formation for your acceptance.
Assume you will understand me--
For complexity keeps me from seeing my own skin.
This skin I wear everyday.
I need you to remember me
When I just want to forget you all.

An very enjoyable read

Cheerz Nicko

Needs like you write about are painful especially when people and or person are insenstive to them, never see them or you. Well done.