Betraying myself

Trying to smile but tears fill my eyes
I don't let them fall
Nightmares still filling my nights
Leaving scars in my soul

The sun doesn't shine anymore
Even though the day is bright
Losing my sense, losing it all
No sign of things going right

Can you see the wall around me?
When I tell things but don't say a word?
Can you see the darkness in my eyes
Every time his name is mentioned?

No, of course you can't
I hide it so well
Though the smile on my lips
Only tells me I'm betraying myself