Honest, raw emotion. I can't take anything away from a write inspired by passion. Expressing love and emotions through a poem takes courage and should be greeted with joy and compliments. I applaud your efforts and greatly enjoyed reading this. Well done.
Few Typos: Feet (instead feat) and separate (instead of seperate)
You have shown a lot of emotions here & I believe that is the purpose of poetry , to release & to share . In that respect you have done an exelent job . Though the poem is rather long I don't see that as a bad thing ,
I think as you write more you will be able to say more with less words , to let each stanza progress with an evolving message instead of being repetative . I think Kurt said it best in the first comment & I am only wanting to give you a few pointers . It's a very good poem please keep writing for us to enjoy ...Jim
As with the other poem, many puntuation errors, word usage errors(your/you're), spelling errors throughout. These take away from the poem when one attempts to read it. Both the rhyme scheme and the rhythm change within this verse.
6 years ago
Very honest! yes.. we all feel the insecurity.. but i think u are unnecessarily worrying too much girl!..from your poem i understand that u still have him. enjoy what u got now. and live in the now. be fully present in the now. and stop worrying!!! u'd be much better off that way. not only for u but for the two of you! :) be happy stay happy! :)
I know I sound trite when I write this but...its truly what I believe...emotion in writing is what people believe...and your emotion was completely thee. I loved it
6 years ago
This is amazing. The length only proves that you repeat somethings like every stanza or two, and could easily be condensed, but if you left it it would still be ok, just really wordy. Emotion and voice are obviously there and they give way to your tone. There really is no flow in this piece. Somehow, I still enjoyed this a lot, great job