Comments : Smile

  • 12 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I love the radiance that shines through this piece- sometimes we need to know we don't have to smile for everyone....find the truth to make a real smile that sticks with us....becomes a part of our own souls.

    My only suggestion would be to fix up the grammar
    "thats" to "that's". Small but important things.

    I have to say I thought the third/fourth lines were a bit weak, the opening was encouraging....giving a firm foundation to want to smile upon. But what do you mean by feeling nice? Explain more.

    "Smile cause sometimes thats all you can do,"

    True. Sometimes we can't find words of healing. We just move on. Smiling and hoping to see it as a good sign.

    "Smile if your that important to you."

    Good thought here- reminded me of finding beauty in ourselves, staying true, not trying to be who we are not for the crowd.

    "Smile, sunshine.
    Scare the rain, heal my pain."

    Great string of thoughts here....take away those stormy clouds, replace them with healing...something sunny!

    Keep writing and God bless you!