Moments with you

by Randy East   Apr 12, 2010


Have you ever been with someone,
and wished it'd never end?
Stayed up till 7am one night,
or shared a perfect weekend.

Where moments that you spent alone,
completed you within,
and every time you recollect
you're left sitting with a grin.

I have... and it was priceless!
Nothing else I'd rather do,
And I can say that when I did...

These moments were with you.

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Latest Comments

  • 5 years ago

    by Xanthe

    The only thing I didn't like here was the punctuation.

    'Have you ever been with someone,
    and wished it'd never end.'

    A question mark would help with heightening the importance of the question.

    'I have..., and it was priceless!!'

    Remove the comma. I think one exclamation point would do in poetry.

    The rhymes gave this a nice happy tone. I like it. The message was also really sweet. Keep writing :)
    -X

  • 5 years ago

    by Lofallenve

    OH my gosh. You just brought back a rush of memories for me with this poem, brought me to tears thinking of them. Thank you honestly. <3
    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Kitty Kurse

    "Have you ever been with someone,
    and wished it'd never end.
    Stayed up tell(till) 7am one night,
    or shared a perfect weekend."
    Good opening and yes yes I have:)

    "Where moments that you spent alone,
    completed you within,
    and every time you recollect
    you're left sitting with a grin. "
    I totally know this feeling.

    "I have..., and it was priceless!!
    Nothing else I'd rather do,
    And I can say that when I did...

    These moments were with you."
    You seem to always know how to end your poems perfectly! I can relate to this poem as well. 5/5 and congrats you made it to my favorite author list:D

  • 7 years ago

    by Robie Lincer

    Amazing write...short but straight to the point,,,and the Rhyming was very good, i loved the structure