A Clock Stopped

by silvershoes   Sep 12, 2010


One wish, if I had it, I would give it to you
Two sides of a love, one false, one is true
Three hearts captured, one belonging to me
Four eyes point together, two remain free
Five years since I glimpsed my future arrive
Six senses erect toward that which I strive
Seven deaths to enrich the idea of heaven
Eight breaks to decide hope will not leaven
Nine countries to discover for one that I pine
Ten fingers entangled and all of them mine
Eleven ticks of a hand to remind me of seven
Twelve and a clock stops...
Here I find you, in heaven.

    report violation
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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by A Poets Handwriting aka ALISHA

    I have no idea what to even say about this poem - all I know is that I love it.

    It's really cleverly written by the use of then clock to count - it sounds like the story spans a day, but bythe content we know it spans years, a lifetime I think.

    It flowed really smoothly with help from the use of rhyme.

    You have managed to tell one story in depth but than also many shorter, more vague, stories.

    You really have managed to make a masterpiece.

    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    Wow! that's very creative... you managed to use numbers in a wonderful way to count the days of your life and it doesn't sound at all like a nursury rhyme... couldn't have done it any better!

  • 15 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Very interesting...it is like a nursery rhyme
    with very deep and meaninful thoughts put
    together..well written! Congrats on the win :)

  • 15 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Congratulations :)

  • 15 years ago

    by Ingrid

    Jane,

    I have given this poem a lot of thought, it is very well rounded and one could make a whole story from these few lines, expand on it and maybe even write a short story based on what you have given the reader.

    I love how you ended it, kind of like a fairy tale:) I love good endings!

    Clever write, once again.

    5/5 ingrid

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