Comments : 1825 days later

  • 7 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    First of all...
    What a title!!! Oh god...
    It is eye catching...
    Like really I'm like

    What happend in 1825 days o.O

    Dawn licking 'neath
    my eyes, too swollen.
    ^
    Here you are again,
    With these raw images only you can paint in my mind..
    I can't even...... How? Just how..
    can someone even come up with something like that..
    A.M.A.Z.I.N.G
    I actually saw the sun
    Pull a tongue out an lick someone's eyes..
    God...

    The sun she snacked
    on feeble lashes and you
    who would form even
    the roguest of stars
    into alignment,
    stared -

    ^
    If I understood this like I think I did with a little help from the dictionary :p
    You meant..that sun was kind of eating wrinkled eyelashes,along with someone who had a really strong character? /:) am I right or am I right?
    This is weird but I like it..specially the 'the roguest of stars into the alignment' part.

    His lips were chapped
    with sea salt and a
    sleepless night,
    buttons missing like
    Pluto at war.

    --

    I once kept myself
    tame, paint scrubbed,
    tongue poking and
    a smile that was
    perhaps a little insane.

    --

    ^
    Aaahhhhh...aaaahhh..
    You should see what head in my mind..
    I saw you like,,holding yourself telling yourself 'relax mel,relax" and smiling..how cute..

    I took my own hand,
    one, twice.
    I don't remember.

    ^
    Melancholic much?..do want.

    Nails chipped,
    palms smudged
    with charcoal and
    a finger burnt from
    a rusting ring.

    ^
    :| again...what an image..jeezus mel.
    My heart can't take this..

    WHERE DO YOU GET THESE THINGS FROM???

    and so I buried it
    before you, sand
    smothering its ruby and
    your brow frowning,
    1825 days later.

    ^
    <\3..

    I do know I have a certain feeling toward this piece..I kind of get it..
    It was complex,had a sad melancholic tone..
    vivid images..and a meaning that only deeper hearts can understand..

    Tea is Tea and this is perfect.

    My first nomination ever..
    -drumrolls-...

    Goes to this piece!

    Love you mel :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Britt

    Oh Mel. Mel, Mel, Mellyboo. You and your poetry, beautiful and confusing, twisted images and verbs that just don't add up in my simple brain all the time, but nonetheless intriguing :)

    I often read your poetry and come up with my own ideas rather than try to interpret what you're meaning here. Your symbolic stance is so strong that unless I'm of your caliber or your systematic wave, I just can't understand! lol

    "I took my own hand,
    one, twice. "

    Should "one" be "once" ?

    I love the title, it is what really brought me in. The most creative and intriguing part to me, that I've read over and over and over would be this:

    "and so I buried it
    before you, sand
    smothering its ruby"

    BEAUTIFUL and the meaning I took is much too personal to write here, but know it touched me deeply.

    Beautiful poetry, Mel.

  • 7 years ago

    by Britt

    Oh Mel. Mel, Mel, Mellyboo. You and your poetry, beautiful and confusing, twisted images and verbs that just don't add up in my simple brain all the time, but nonetheless intriguing :)

    I often read your poetry and come up with my own ideas rather than try to interpret what you're meaning here. Your symbolic stance is so strong that unless I'm of your caliber or your systematic wave, I just can't understand! lol

    "I took my own hand,
    one, twice. "

    Should "one" be "once" ?

    I love the title, it is what really brought me in. The most creative and intriguing part to me, that I've read over and over and over would be this:

    "and so I buried it
    before you, sand
    smothering its ruby"

    BEAUTIFUL and the meaning I took is much too personal to write here, but know it touched me deeply.

    Beautiful poetry, Mel.

  • 6 years ago

    by Nomad Being

    Wow.. I had to read it a a decade time before I had rapped my hands and clapped !!!
    amazing write that is...

  • 6 years ago

    by Clown

    Beautiful and I must say my brains hurting. I dont understand it almost at all, but it seemed somewhat sexual and at the same time very sad. The images that played in my head where like a custom sence in Phantom of the Opera of Erik, the Operas Ghost and a woman, but not Daae, embrace and then are forced to part. very confusing. anyways still loved it.