WOW OMG this is beautiful, the choice of words, the sentences, the feelings, the description I love everyting about it, for sure 5/5

I like the detailed description you gave and I think that this poem is really deep. You might want to think about moving it into the dark section though because I think it would fit better there. It was a pleasant read.

You have a real talent for coming up with descriptive metaphors. However, this story wasn't riveting enough to hold my interest the whole way through. I think you should focus more on expressing your own feelings, rather than penning long fictional stories.

BTW, the shorter, second part of the story worked a lot better for me than the longer first half. It seemed to have a more consistent flow and wasn't as scattered as the first part.

This is very good! was this based on a dream?

What I love about your poetry style is the wonderful metaphors you use that are so vivid and exiting. Your poetry tells a story in a dramatic and colourful way that challenges thought. Love it Milly x