This poem really touched on every thing that could possibly happen in a relationship, I thought your choice of words in every stanza were brilliant and loved the last stanza on how it ended the poem. Great job, once again!! :)
Hmmmm I loved that one. I believe actually many can relate to it from different perspectives. The perspective that I basically got has something to do with cultural and social differences between the lovers. The reason I believe so, is that these kinds of differences are so deep that they wouldn't just break a relationship, they would also have something to do with how each character in your poem here involved in this love story would actually define things like love in its crude sense, relationships, sacrifices and all these terms that might seem universal - I personally believe that they are not.
I believe that the enchanted destiny awaiting to be discovered is most probably a painful break up ... :(( (I am sorry I am realistic like that :D) - But I really loved it.
I have one comment however, I noticed the use of destined twice in almost like 3 or 4 lines. It sounded a bit odd I think if you worked that out it would be amazing ^_^.
The title is really captivating and it's actually the reason I'm here because it pulled me in. I like the introductery stanza because it gives the reader an idea of the current situation, the speaker is refering to. I think your choice of words is quite nice and the questions underline the speakers doubts and fears. The ending is what I liked most though because it showed that even if things are tough it's worth fighting for it. Overall this is a well penned poem that flows well.
You're much better at telling a story than I am. Again the rhythm makes this a little harder for me to follow, but that's personal preference, and it certainly does not take away from the concise imagery and atmosphere of the poem. The desire seems to leak through a layer of chaos, and that's not easy to portray.
5 years ago
Wow! job well done. It reminds me of a line from one of my favorite movies: Ever After. Cinderella says "a fish may love a bird, but where would they live? " If only I could express myself as well as you.
So hypnotic, kept me reading on and on, didn't want it to stop. Two hearts treading the path of love with hurdles trying to hinder thier passionate love. Challenges turn out as discovery of thier union; whether it can be firm through the obstacles or surrender to be free of this fervent deep feeling. I related to this easily and i'm sure it is to all the readers. Written simply but awe-inpiring. Very good and more thoughts to your heart and mind. Take care ;-)