Comments : State of Health

  • 6 years ago

    by Lioness

    I have to say this is such a wonderful poem.

    It goes so much deeper than just physical illness. I feel it is more about the State of the Mind and how the mind controls how you are feeling

    It's like being on this emotional rollercoaster and no one knows what you're going through or that you are even in this state of mind. This invisible feeling.

    I can so relate to this piece.

    I do not have a fever
    yet I'm burning inside.
    I'm melting with my tears
    as my emotions engulf me.

    I love the first stanza!

    Well done!

    x

  • 6 years ago

    by believeinlove87

    I love this :)

    comparing being sick to what you're actually feeling. & nobody being able to tell. It shows your hurt and feeling sick when you're not at all.

    Great Job :)
    5/5

  • 6 years ago

    by Decayed

    Lol, I think I'm going loca now, with your poem.

    It was so hot, so fervent and most of all... so alive.

    The opening... awe-strucking!!!

    And the most of all is that the ending is an open-end, too. I think it's a twist.. mmm.. amazing, sarah ;)

  • 6 years ago

    by Meme

    Just dont be fooled by the way I look, cause deep inside is something different << thats what I got from this poem. WOW !! I loved it so much Sara, your poems just hit me like a storm, you are getting betterand better with every poem you write ..

    Keep it up sis <3

  • 6 years ago

    by Karla

    This the saddest part: when nobody suspects a thing.Great write.

  • 6 years ago

    by Matthew Schut

    Wow!!! Sara!!!! Such an amazing piece! The style was so unique and I loved it! Comparing sickness with obvious brokenness! GREAT work my friend! Your poems are awesome!!! :)

  • 6 years ago

    by Kips

    Wow!! This is probably one of the plainest of all the poems I've read. Even a layman can relate to this poem.

    When one is stressed out and stretched beyond his limits, everything seems confusing. One cannot identify one thing from the other. And also if it has to do with emotional stress, it creates an internal bleeding that no one can see.

    I love the medical sense of the poem. It flowed so well.

    One advise for you is to "keep on writing."

    Great job! 5/5

  • 6 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    Your poems is a perfect blueprint of how we hide the sufferings from others. I really enjoyed each line that flowed so gently.

  • 5 years ago

    by Girl of Conviction

    Wow.. this left me speechless
    you are a great writer :] i love this piece!
    :]]

    5/5

  • 4 years ago

    by Treehugger

    This is a great piece. Its hard to express how you are feeling to anyone. Sadly many people are going through this. Its hard to talk to anyone you are feeling so down, and it is sad when one knows.
    5/5

  • 4 years ago

    by WintersAngel

    This really is amazing. Good job.

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Good piece and really well written