Comments : Diary of my Window

  • 5 years ago

    by Karla

    Can't believe there is no comment here.It is a fantastic piece.

  • 5 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    This is a great poem, I was browsing through some of your earlier work when I came across this one. The title drew me in because it was so unique, I have never heard of diary and window being used to together and it got me curious!

    A window pane can whisper my memories
    such as a diary in which I have written
    within the cracks of 18th century paint chips
    tears shall trickle, such as silent secrets
    about the day my love song died

    - referring to the 18th century is very original, setting such a different time to which we are used to reading in now. As for the silent secrets, again this makes me wonder what they are, what is it that you have been hiding so deep within?

    stained breath upon dirty glass, marks a time
    as each breath drawn was for you
    hand prints mark emptiness, sign language of sadness
    raindrops dance around outlines, sacred cemetery
    of one broken lover

    - I really got drawn in here, I could actually feel myself sitting at the window watching my breath stain the glass as you describe here. I think we all have that someone we think of if you were to picture this scene. That one we are always thinking of and letting them fill up our heads.
    - your word choice for creatign the emotion was greatly done with the hand prints of emptiness, what a strong line which really jumps out at you while reading.
    - I like the way you have related to this place at the window as a cemetry. The place you go to remember this person and perhaps yearn for their love again.

    upon a day, air shall sing, opening for freedom
    as I fall for you again, over and over
    from a two story prison, after nine months of agony
    your arms become my forever, leaving behind...

    an empty shell, I called home...

    - This last stanza was so touching, you felt so much empathy for the writer. For me, I get the feeling of wanting to move on, to be free fo them, but in another way you cannot help yourself but go back to them time after time. You dont want to be free of them, you want to be free with them.

    Really enjoyed this, your words are so moving in your poetry, you have a very unique talent and I will enjoy reading through your work.