Her

by Pretty Punk Princess   Feb 5, 2012


He left me for her.
I was hopeless in love,
But now I'm hopeless in pain.
I can't explain my pain in words,
So I explained the pain on my wrist.
My hands were bloody,
I felt no more pain.
I felt the blood,
trickle down my hand once more.
That was my final GOOD BYE.

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Latest Comments

  • 6 years ago

    by Darren

    Strong, provokes images.

    some suggestions,
    (You can ignore if you like)

    Hopelessly instead of hopeless?

    Drop "the" before pain on the wrist line.
    Commas after every line apart from the last.

    If you put ! after her it almost makes you shout the first line, which almost explains your anguish, Which then ties in with the rest of the poem.

    Like I said, just suggestions.

    Thanks for the read.

    Darren

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