Comments : Useless

  • 5 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Nevi,*

    First stanza third line "ripping" should have a capital letter.

    I can't say I've read a poem about a fortune cookie, was this the fortune cooking reading you were given or did you make it up? I liked how you ended this piece with the word "useless" and it was simply just that word, a statement, a bold one much like the term. It was effective in giving the word strength and power to the concept.

    "I always bemoan my fate
    as you always carry to me such useless words"

    Wasn't too keen on the repetition of "always" within the two lines. I understand the emphasis and why you used it but I felt it caused a bit of a road block when reading if that makes any sense.

    I guess you haven't found anything useful inside a fortune cookie? I once had one that told me I was going to be on top of the world, can't say that went my way lol.

    -Mel

  • 5 years ago

    by Masked metaphor

    Very creative write!
    5.5 from me