Comments : Gasping Wishes.

  • 6 years ago

    by Something Diabolical

    I thought it sounded abit like alladin before i read the last bit =P

    "if it's power could destroy
    all you've fight to gain?"

    should "fight" be "fought"
    my only qualm with this

    a very good job!
    enjoyed reading it
    5/5 from me

    • 6 years ago

      by Blissful

      Thank you for pointing that out!

  • 6 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    You really did a good job in this challenge. The wording is wonderful. great job

  • 6 years ago

    by Britt

    AH Bliss, I don't know why I haven't commented on this before.

    You're such a happy, optimistic and romantic writer, so when you write something that isn't bubbling with romance I am shocked. But you did such an amazing job twisting a fairytale here. I remember reading this thinking WOW, this was spot on to the challenge. This is awesome!

  • 6 years ago

    by Xanthe

    I love the title. And the brevity worked beautifully here, as well as the enjambment throughout the piece. I wasn't expecting the ending - it's incredibly powerful, and that's what made me love this even more.
    The couple of "it's" don't need the apostrophes. And I think it would be better if 'among' were: amongst. Just a suggestion. :)

    Lovely write. Keep it up,

  • 5 years ago

    by Mimed Lovette

    Blissful! I loved reading this poem of yours. The thing about poems is that some can be so long and winding but I like how you are able to paint a picture or convey a story through few words. I think that's what makes a writer successful. I love Disney and Aladdin is in my top favorites but I would wish to see it portrayed in a different way as shown in your poem :)