Comments : End to Beginning

  • 11 years ago

    by Lioness

    Oh I love this one! I am thinking of vampires while reading this and I love the awesome tv shows out there about vampires. The words are awesome that you use and I love the flow!

    x

  • 11 years ago

    by Xanthe

    ^Exactly what I was thinking. Vampires.
    "May you rise tomorrow" was a really nice touch though I am not a fan of vampire movies or stories, I really enjoyed reading this. Great job :)
    -X

  • 11 years ago

    by Yrem Crish

    I like this poem. I really enjoyed reading this. Very well-penned:))
    ~C

  • Sticking to the fashionable theme of things - vampires. This is both beauiful and devastating at the same time. Devastating because the victim's soul is no more, though beautiful as you have written with a slight sensual feel a though this exchange is happening between lovers. Nicely penned. (:

  • 11 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Wow, I was browsing through your poems and this title drew me in..... was not expecting that!

    I cannot believe how much power you have created from using only 38 small words! Now that is talent!

    Your opening line Crimson Red is just so strong and it captures you with its power.

    The second line Flowing Steady gives you the image of a river of flowing blood.

    "Digging deeper,
    Ripping flesh"

    - in these lines I can clearly picture sharp teeth piercing deeper into the skin, i tink this is amazing imagery.

    "Fangs sink deeper,
    Liquid seeping,
    Gasping starting"

    - I like these lines because of how quick they move on to the next action, it is like you have broke down each action emphasising each movement. By stating the gasping of breath you know you are near the end.

    Your ending was excellent, you can really sense the darkness in this and the theme of the vampires and their life style really.

    You have made this so short and quick, that it is like a flash scene from a movie which you can visualize in your head picture perfect.

    Well done on this . so short and yet so great!

  • 11 years ago

    by Mello193

    Vampire came to mind. i like the simplicity of each line. added kinda a scared vibe. very cool poem. with such few words you spoke paragraphs...i dig this piece a lot

  • 10 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Gee, at the end of the poem

    I was like eh?

    haha, I liked it. There was the tension, the built up with the short lines, the commas
    and I just continued reading just the way I talk, fast. Though, I think I was supposed to make a stop in the commas but I enjoyed this one. As you know, I watch vampire diaries and this poem just reminded me of the show. The "may you rise tomorrow" was a nice ending. I pictured Stephan when I finished reading the poem. I think is because he is called the ripper. And the poem has "ripping Flesh" that my mind just made that connection. Plus " May you rise tomorrow" I understand it as hopefully, but who knows.

    Thought the title prompts that he/she( the victim) will rise.