Comments : Dead Lover

  • Nice! This piece was chilling!
    ..Toxic tears...acid rain... Carnal desire

    Some nice imagery there and great choice of words!


  • 6 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Very good imagery and use of words. It chilled me to the bone. I am assuming that your poem is about vampires because of the line: "till the sun rays, do us part"

    "I love you more when I see you in pain
    blessed by your toxic tears, the acid rain
    we had a past, for you have to pay
    I'm a night hunter, you are my prey"

    ^The first line of this stanza really made me feel shivers running down my spine for some reason. Probably because the vampire, more than likely, wants to see his victim writhing in pain.

    The only emotion that I can sense in this poem is lust (and you stated that) which is good because vampires have no soul, correct?

    Excellent use of imagery and lust

    • 6 years ago

      by Jawwad Zafar

      Thanx alot for ur precious comment..
      Yes u are absolutely correct :D

  • 6 years ago

    by Kitty Kurse

    It was really good but the last stanza I think it shld b
    "I'm the dark lord, you are my slave."
    Besides that, I really really liked it, dark poems are by far one of my fav types of poetry.:)

  • 6 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    I absolutely lo e the wording,,brilliant word choice and amazing poem very dark indeed,,greatly written,,though I have to admit it sounds a lot like someone I used to know,,,loved it 5/5

  • 6 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    Let me be the nightmare of your dreams
    pleased by the sounds, while you scream
    Enjoying more with each beat of your heart
    till the sun rays, do us apart....

    I really loved this part. This poen is really wonderful, i dont know much about dark poems but i really enjoyed this one.

  • 6 years ago

    by Areeba

    Now this one was versatile.. I loved it =D dunno what else to say coz i dnt have much knowledge bout dark poetry .. All i can say is keep it up... N keep it coming :>

    • 6 years ago

      by Jawwad Zafar

      Will keep posting, thanx for inspirational comment :)