Incase any one wonders why I made this so long, I started off with 2 stanza's, but when you have a dog for all them years the journey together is so long and the goodbye is never quick, so I wanted it to be slightly longer in order to tell the true story of the journey and emphasis how many memories were created in those years. I tried it shorter but I just could not leave the memories out. x
I cried reading this. It brought back memories of losing a couple of my pets...they are just like family to you and it is just as hard to lose them as it is a person.
I think the length is perfect, because you are right... it cannot be shortened and have that much emotion... you need to have those details to be able to capture the reader, so they can feel your pain. Sometimes we have pets that are with us for years... I had a dog that I grew up with..brought her home the same day that I was born and had her until I was 15, broke my heart to lose her. You just can't shorten that kind of love, memories, or pain...so like I said, the length is perfect.
You done a fantastic job, Saffie. It touched my heart and I will be adding this to my favorites!
A pet, especially a dog, gives us so much joy and many memories throughout its life. It gives us genuine love, and when that frightful day comes for our beloved pet to be put to rest - well it's one of the hardest things in our lives - and as you stated, the hardest goodbye.
I love how you began this poem whilst your dog was still alive. Readers are given a snippet of the joy that you had in those days you shared with your dog. It also gives some explanation as to why you loved him so, what you used to do together and what he was like whilst he was young, which ultimately follows onto the next stanza.
You painted the image of your old dog perfectly - explaining the changes made since he was young to now whilst he is old.
You have successfully managed to have these two stanzas flow flawlessly.
'I know what you are telling me;
you are telling me its time.'
Those two lines just made my emotions shatter! They are so simple, yet so painful - they hold so much power.
I like this ending. It shows that even though you are upset you will stay strong, say goodbye and will always remember this pal of yours. It's a nice send off to your dog and to the poem itself.
This had me in tears.
It's been five years since my dog was put to rest - he was eleven at the time, slightly deaf, and riddled with Cancer.
I remember, the day he was to go to the vet for his check-up I never even imagined I would never see him again. I was running late for school so ran off without even giving him a pet that morning unfortunately, and when I got the news that afternoon, I was devastated.
It's been five years now, and I still get upset thinking about him; both because of the joy that he once brought to my life and because he is gone now. But I will remember him.
It's strange how an animal can sometimes make more impact on our lives than a human ever could. I think its because of that simplicity in friendship that can never be achieved with anyone but a pet.
This poem was really well set out. It was long, but it holds the reader to the end. I think mainly because it stretches from the time you got your puppy to the time he died, and you said goodbye to him as he crossed from our world to the next.
Surprisingly, it flowed really smoothly throughout the whole piece, thereby keeping a steady pace.
Your use of imagery is great - scenes/ siuations were well described throughout.
My only critique would be:
The last stanza; it was perhaps a little too dragged out. But these are your thoughts/memories written down, so it can be as long as it wants.
An excellent piece, that I am sure many can relate to. 5/5
I remember this from the club challenge, Saffie. Well, how could one forget such a poignant and heart-wreching piece? Great job. :)
I, too, thought that the length of this piece is perfect. I've had different pets growing up, I've watched them grow and slowly slip away from me so this poem saddens me even more. And I'm sure a lot of people would be able to relate with this poem.
I love how you added depth to this by adding more about how your dog was growing up, your bond/relationship with him, not just the "goodbye" part, but you showed us readers why it was the "hardest" one.
You just take the reader to a really happy-tragic story without ever making this boring (at least to me).
If I have any critique, it would be to add more 'physical' aspects. I would love to know what breed your dog was, his color, his eyes, tail..
Still, this is an excellent piece. I'm sorry it takes a while for me to comment on your poems but do know I always read and love your work.