Comments : Cosmic Shadows [Rictameter]

  • 6 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Your poem helped me write my newest! Cosmic makes me think of so many colors, shapes, & sizes. Which made me think of sequins. I know we had just talked about this, and how there are so many thoughts swirling around, I think this poem portrays that wonderfully. Nicely done!

  • 6 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    What a creative write! I love how you used the rictameter, they are fun to write :) I like how you say you want to fight the nightmares too...how you just wish to dream yet there are endless thoughts running about. Good job!

  • 6 years ago

    by One Man Clan

    HMmmmm
    This isn't easy to do
    and you've done a beautiful job with your descriptions
    I'm glad to stumble upon your work and would love to read more by you
    5/5 never the less.

  • 6 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow, I love this poem! I love this structure, it definitely looks hard! And I love how the poem isn't forced at all, it just seems perfectly written.

    The title caught my eye, and I really love the content. It had a lot of meaning, and I'm sure that must've been hard with this form. I love the idea of trying to sleep, but thoughts keeping you up, and how you wish to have nice dreams, but instead there are nightmares that haunt you... I think we can all relate to this poem, I for one have had many sleepless nights.

    I love it.. this is an amazing poem. I have to try this structure sometime!

  • 6 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Ahhhh! Nema! I love this form, haven't read it in a while! I love that you used "cosmic" to describe your thoughts, and it wasn't intended to be a nature piece, even though you incorporated nature into it.

    My favorite line was "sepia- soaked nightmares"...all I could picture was me dreaming, in sepia color, and I could feel me almost running, scared.

    I just loved this. Lots and lots!! :)

  • 6 years ago

    by L

    I love the part about sepia-Soaked nightmares... That sets a cool image. When I think about it... Everything is in sepia and the scenes of old movies jump to my mind so yeah, it's a cool way of describing nightmares.

    I counted the syllables and they are right, I was just wondering if the capital letters in each line should be like that. And I am guessing, they are.

    Aside from that, this was pretty cool. I prefer not to dream but I prefer dreams instead of nightmares.

  • 6 years ago

    by audrey

    I usually read Cinquain's and feel like the author had to find a way to "shove" the word to be repeated in the ending, but you worked it in effortlessly. This is a hard form to do and have the kind of flow you have here.

    I really like "'tween sleeplessness and moonlit nights." <--- this line the best. It was very beautifully written.