Same topic as before, but this one is written in a much, much more approachable way. im not sure that i can convey why exactly, but it seems to be more generally rational while still conveying a similar message. maybe its that its easier to sort of... comprehend the perspective (not that i claim to fully understand what you are going through). over all i like this one much better.
I very much hope that you as 15 years old are not going through this, but if you are I am so sorry that you are being tortured from this choice.
Some critiques, to make it easier to read make sure you capitalize certain words and use correct punctuation. For example: I've, I'll.
Also the word "then" is used in your case as "than"
Otherwise, this is a heart wrenching poem. I love how you say, "I can't wait for the day that you'll be born" yet, you will never experience that. Really cuts the reader. Knowing that day will never come...I couldn't even imagine that torture. 5/5
5 years ago
by Formidable Muse
This is so sad, abortion is a terrible thing. If you had to go through this I'm really sorry ):
The poem is lovely though.
This poen delivered( no pun intended) the sadness and depression shared makes these words somewhat powerful 5/5
5 years ago
First I would like to commend you for touching on a meaningful subject.
I really hope that you personally haven't had to experience the pain of an abortion or those feelings of what might been due to having abortions. I know I comment before and stated that I am against abortions but in some circumstances such rape or incest I understand but still don't like the thought of a innocent child being murder.
Thought provoking write, I also agree with the other comments here this poem is written better.