Comments : I Stood Musing In A Black World

  • 4 years ago

    by Decayed

    Peace is but skyscrapers
    built on vodka bottles and humanity's but remnants
    in fossilized sea floors.

    ^ You deserve an OSCAR.

  • 4 years ago

    by Karla

    When the air that we breathe
    becomes air that we choke,
    only then, and, until then,
    we truly ache...

    to live.

    Your poem gave me chills. Stunnig piece.Awesome ending.

  • 4 years ago

    by The Poet Behind The Poems

    This flows just like the wind I love your
    Style it's so deep even when not meant
    To be you ate such a talent

    I loved the ending

    Just finished it
    Perfectly
    :)

  • 4 years ago

    by Darren

    Wow what imagery you have mustered.

    I love this, what a message to humanity, we have become so fixated on our own selfish causes that we do not take time to appreciate this earth and other people,
    We live to exist and waste our time we have been blessed with.
    People no longer truly care for others, it is a rat race leading us all to hell.

    (that is how it read to me anyway)

    This is going in my favourites, and nominated, I have been waiting all week for something as brilliant as this.

  • 4 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    @_@!!

    Seriously....this piece just stopped me in my tracks, this is just an amazing write....ummmmmmm ....ahem .... think i'll need to come back and comment properly but i love this!!

  • 4 years ago

    by Formidable Muse

    "When the air that we breathe
    becomes air that we choke,
    only then, and, until then,
    we truly ache...

    to live."

    ^^Amen. This is truly a beautiful write.
    I lovee your word choices and form you used throughout this! These words hold so much power, I feel so much pain in this poem though. It puts me into a deep state of thought.

    "We had breathed the air of various lands and homes
    where on every strode of our feet, our faith, full-fledged,
    yet, despite it all, savored second chances while foretold
    another's life on our hands."
    ^^Are you referring to religion here? (don't answer that.haha) I feel like that could be one meaning... Or even saying this in the sense that throughout are lives we hold so much in our hands through breaking hearts, loving people, forgiveness, bonding, all the pain we see and lives we touch. This totally makes me think.

    "Zealously. Covetously. We are rolling down

    the windows of destruction. Peace is but skyscrapers
    built on vodka bottles and humanity's but remnants
    in fossilized sea floors."

    ^^Wow! That's intense. Definitely my favorite lines although that is a hard decision, I'm actually not sure. But wow.

    "our minds.

    A battlefield
    of good and evil,
    of lies, half-baked
    and of truth,
    half-spoken."
    ^^Another interesting perception. Half-baked? Nice choice. I've found that our minds can be almost as deceptive as our hearts. The biggest battlefield in our lives.

    "Voracious mouth fed by greed,
    blood-thirsty lips filled with rage,
    lordlier tongues became
    venom-encrusted daggers
    punching through
    the perforated cities
    within"
    ^^What an image. I can't describe what I think about this stanza, other then (again) wow!

    "Spontaneous. Instantaneous. Our thoughts are

    like time bombs marking away
    each minute
    each chunk
    of our lives."
    ^^Spontaneous, instantaneous.. Nice. I love how you did something similar to that in two sections it adds to the beautiful form.

    Your use of punctuation made me extremely happy as well. It made it simple to read and gave it a very lovely flow.

    This is one of those poems I wish I could nominate but yet am powerless. But it's going to my favorites!
    Oh and sorry to comment backwards, I didn't realize I did that until proofreading it. O.o

    The title drew me in btw, it was a very nice choice as well.

    Anyway, now that I'm done writing you a novel. I again will say, wow (:

  • 4 years ago

    by DeafBeats

    A truly beautiful ending.

    of lies, half-baked
    and of truth,
    half-spoken.

    Great balance there - love that small part

    5/5

  • 4 years ago

    by zombiepikachu

    I want to really praise you for this. This is beautiful writing, sort of post/modernistic. I like that when you read the poem, you have to focus. It's not like a whiny teenage girl has written this; it is someone that has been moved by a great emotion. I think you really have beautiful diction and imagery and you give me hope that not all is lost in the worlds way of expressing ourselves. This is beautiful. Good job c:

  • 4 years ago

    by Hellon

    I'm not sure how I missed this one...perhaps because I have a tendancy to comment when a member is signed in at the same time as me and...this very seldom happens with us.

    This seemed dark (not dark as in your other writes...darker) fustration and anger came through here I feel...sometimes the world gets me by the throat also but....it just throws me in the corner and continues on...for what difference would I make?

    A battlefield
    of good and evil,
    of lies, half-baked
    and of truth,
    half-spoken.

    ^^^^

    How true! It doesn't really matter which part of the world we live in....these words speak to us all.

    Very powerful write...enjoyed!

  • 4 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    @.@!!!

    How I wish I could nominate!

    This is a Very Powerful deep thought provoking write...

    "A battlefield
    of good and evil,
    of lies, half-baked
    and of truth,
    half-spoken."

    ^^I sense a strong will here,
    torn between a rock and a hard place to coin a phrase on it.

    The heart and the mind...

    Emotion V's logic

    and

    Feelings V's Reason

    The ultimate battle ground.

    my favourite lines...
    Brilliant write, I'm absolutely gutted I can't nominate this piece... Truly captivating from beginning to end.

    Into the favourite your write goes... Along with you in favourite Author,

    5/5