Comments : The pocket watch

  • 4 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Tony this has to be one of my favorite writes from you! I don't think I've read a lot of life poems by you but this one really stuck with me. The meaning of the pocket watch is so beautiful and I love how you tell this story of how your grandfather first shared with you that everything is possible. I loved how you had the quotations at the beginning, middle, and end, it really kept me reading and had a lot of hope in them.

    "You get one chance to live life,never
    waste a single moment because
    tomorrow isn't written in
    permanent ink."

    I know this can be said in so many different ways and that we may hear it a lot, but it should never get old to any of us. What a refreshing reminder we need to keep near us. I like how you talked about tomorrow too because it made me think about things not to regret. Nothing is sure these days....very few things are set in stone, because so much is circumstantial. We need to make the best of what we have now, think of time as a precious gift......What wonderful thought in this, thanks for sharing!! :]

  • 4 years ago

    by BlueJay

    I love this poem, the style is amazing and the story line of it is so well thought out. Your word choice is amazing, especially with the simplicity of this piece. I really love it. Your voice is heard clearly and the point was made strongly. This is going on my favorites list - just saying in case you care.

    "Time is one thing you can
    never put a time on".

    ^^ Fantastic way to begin. I dont know why, though quotes are always the easiest way to pull me in when poetry is concerned.

    I remember, years before technology
    something my grandfather once shared.

    ^^ just telling the story here, though i like how it isnt long enough to annoy the audience. Not that i really think you have the ability to annoy anyone.

    With a smile planted firmly on his face
    he placed a pocket watch tightly
    In my grasp -

    ^^ Great description here.

    "This is your life, until you hear
    that final tick,anything is possible".

    ^^ Nice quotation again. this is the message that sticks out the most, at least to me.

    Years past and suddenly I was alone,
    not once did I reveal the time I had
    left whether it be years,months,even days.

    ^^ I dont know what to say about this stanza, though i like it.

    Since that day, I've never let anyone
    go a second without reminding them
    how special they are to me.

    ^^ This stanza just made me smile to think that yes some hearts are indeed still where they belong.

    You get one chance to live life,never
    waste a single moment because
    tomorrow isn't written in
    permanent ink.

    ^^I like how elequently you said this here. My favorite stanza.

    "If you could see how much time
    you had left, would you really
    want to know"?

    ^^ Perfect conclusion!!!! Thank you for leaving me in thought.

    5/5

  • 4 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Oops sorry for the second post.

  • 4 years ago

    by Angie

    You're grandfather was a wise man...

    There is a powerful message within your words Tony, tell/show those close to you how much they mean to you and live each day as if it were your last because you are never promised a tomorrow...

    love this piece...

  • 4 years ago

    by Lostlove1

    I love this one and the message it holds within its lines.

    It reminds me of that video by Nickleback "Saving me"

    Write on!

  • 4 years ago

    by Meme

    I read this one before but Iwas busy and couldnt comment on it.
    This is one of my favoritepieces by you. Its straight forward and to the point. You can never kow how much time is left for you, thus never delay things you want to do. Never let time steal away moments from you. Always say whats on your mind, always let others know how you feel about them before you wake up one day and realise its already too late...

    Into my favs <3

    xxx

  • 4 years ago

    by sleepingwithsirensfanatic

    This is really sweet

  • 4 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Very story Tony. I like that you added a grandfathers quotes in here, and ended with your own quote after all those years of dwelling on his....

    Quite a interesting ending question actually. You leave the readers wanting to ponder it and try to figure out what they might answer.

    Nicely done.

  • 4 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    "Time is one thing you can
    never put a time on".

    - love the opening quote - it is very deep and true and makes you think of how precious it is.
    This gives me the idea your poem will be deep and personal.

    I remember, years before technology
    something my grandfather once shared.

    With a smile planted firmly on his face
    he placed a pocket watch tightly
    In my grasp -

    "This is your life, until you hear
    that final tick,anything is possible".

    - I think you done well to add technology into the poem because it shows how long ago this took place. Back when pocket watches were traditionally passed down from families to the next generation. Again I like the quote, it is very deep and makes you think.

    Years past and suddenly I was alone,
    not once did I reveal the time I had
    left wether it be years,months,even days.

    - past* should be passed becaused you are saying the years passed by. and wether* should be whether. I think you could make this more powerful by adding the word "or" between months and even. So you list how long you could have left but then end it with " or even days" But that is just my opinion it is not an error.

    Since that day, I've never let anyone
    go a second without reminding them
    how special they are to me.

    - I love this - it shows that sometimes we forget what really matters in life and we fall into a habit of expecting people to know we love them and we do not tell them as often as we should.

    You get one chance to live life,never
    waste a single moment because
    tomorrow isn't written in
    permanent ink.

    - love love love the idea of permanent ink representing that tomorrow will not be garanteed. Quite motivational stanza and encouraging to make the most of what we have when we have it.

    "If you could see how much time
    you had left, would you really
    want to know"?.

    - I really like the question on the end, it makes every reader think of their own answer, but then also what the authors answer is too. I presonally do not know the answer for me, it is so deep and would consider a lot of thinking!!

    Excellent creativity in the poem, mixing something personal into a very deep thinking poem about life.

    Well done

  • 4 years ago

    by Kips

    I really love this!

    "Time is one thing you can never put a time on".

    The opening statement set up a fine tone that makes you want to get to the end of the piece. Good attention getter.

    "
    I remember, years before technology
    something my grandfather once shared.

    With a smile planted firmly on his face
    he placed a pocket watch tightly
    In my grasp -

    "This is your life, until you hear
    that final tick,anything is possible". "

    I don't know how long ago this was, but you just shared a very interesting and inspirational story in precisely and concisely in three short stanzas! It's like I could picture the event taking place in my mind's eyes. More like a movie. :)

    "
    Years past and suddenly I was alone,
    not once did I reveal the time I had
    left wether it be years,months,even days.

    Since that day, I've never let anyone
    go a second without reminding them
    how special they are to me.

    You get one chance to live life,never
    waste a single moment because
    tomorrow isn't written in
    permanent ink. ""

    Suddenly you pulled me along (and I believe many other readers) and walked us through your livelihood from that moment when your grandfather placed your "life" in your hand. Now that was another story that I could picture. Another part in the Movie "The Pocket Watch" by you. :)

    Btw, "wether" should be "whether" instead. :)
    "If you could see how much time
    you had left, would you really
    want to know"?.

    I just wanted to get to this part and finally I did. I tell you what, your opening sentence was beautiful, but this ending part was adorned with excellence and perfection. A very good place and way to end.

    When I read the opening statement I was expecting a fine finish, and you didn't disappoint. In fact, I've got something to take away from this: A thought of a "lifetime."

    Haha...I just combined 'life' and 'time' together! Your piece is that beautiful. Keep writing!

  • 4 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    This is such an inspirational piece, Tony! It's very heartfelt and thought provoking.

    I love the quotes, and how it has a story feel to it, but is somewhat short. I like how you can put so much emotion and imagery in so few lines when some people it would take a book to come off with the same message.

    Lovely write with a great message!

  • 4 years ago

    by Zoei

    This is very good.

  • 4 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    [Weekly Contest Comment: 3/11/13]

    This was a very heart-warming write where I felt and was moved by the poet's character in every line. Bringing in this grandfather and the affect his legacy had on this poet is something that is not only understand by him but me as well. In those two lines at the beginning, middle, and end of this poem, the grandfather speaks words of wisdom that are meant to be lived out. The message is clear and covers a lot of principles to think about...not only living each day like it's our last or making every second count but also realizing the many possibilites we have in this life. Days change just like our plans to but the best we can do is keep that pocket watch close to our hearts as a reminder to be the best we can be and reach out to others. Very meaningful poem!