Spinning

by AnnaCaprice   May 20, 2013


It feels as though I am spinning,
but my feet stay planted in place.
My heartbeat rings in my ears again,
like a musician plucking his bass.

It seems (although the timing is off)
to be playing a familiar tune.
A song that stirs up memories,
of a dance that ended too soon.

You took my hand and twirled me round;
I followed along to the beat.
Beside myself I made no sound,
as you swept me off my feet.

We spun this way into the night
and I lost myself somewhere.
In a place between near and far.
Where doubts pollute the air.

Coughing on my questions,
I stumble blindly over my pride.
Left alone; the tempo quickens.
Becoming louder on the inside.

Outside its hardly audible,
but I know that you must hear.
The rhythm pounding in my ears,
that plays when you are near.

old one.

Copyright 2013: Anna C G

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  • 1 year ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    It feels as though I am spinning,
    but my feet stay planted in place.
    My heartbeat rings in my ears again,
    like a musician plucking his bass.
    ^^^^
    Amazing rhyming, love the tune to it. Feels like a cheerful song right from the start. The way you leap into this poem in the first stanza captures the first emotions of love and butterflies floating inside your tummy. I love the heartbeat reference relating it to the bass strings plucking away.

    It seems (although the timing is off)
    to be playing a familiar tune.
    A song that stirs up memories,
    of a dance that ended too soon.
    ^^^^
    Too cute, but a bit of nostalgia it seems. The longing of someone who got away maybe? Feelings you want back, that this song has sparked to make you feel once again.

    You took my hand and twirled me round;
    I followed along to the beat.
    Beside myself I made no sound,
    as you swept me off my feet.
    ^^^^
    The vivid imagery is truly powerful, I can see this playing out in my head. You really know how to piece the right words together in such a melodic way. This is a little embarrassing but this stanza reminds me of 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift.

    We spun this way into the night
    and I lost myself somewhere.
    In a place between near and far.
    Where doubts pollute the air.
    ^^^^
    Oh no - what a twist! Did not expect this to happen, I am drawn in and wondering why the doubt? Have you been hurt before? What a scary thing love is but at the same time it is so beautiful, will you go for it?

    Coughing on my questions,
    I stumble blindly over my pride.
    Left alone; the tempo quickens.
    Becoming louder on the inside.
    ^^^^
    Another strong rhyming scheme. The open emotions and fears lingering inside this stanza are relatable for sure. The way you've explained it in this stanza is all but relatable, very artistic too.

    Outside its hardly audible,
    but I know that you must hear.
    The rhythm pounding in my ears,
    that plays when you are near.
    ^^^^
    Oh my goodness! I love the end! Totally cute, and very surreal. Truthfulness lies behind this stanza and entire poem. New love and true love always gives us questions of wondering will it work? Are we enough? And at the same the total excitement of experiencing someone who brings us to life. You captured all of the feelings of young and true love, amazing write for an "old" poem. ;)

    5/5

  • Beautifully expressed. as the dancers dance expressing their emotions and feelings through their body language, the same way you expressed it through your write-up.

    you did justice with this piece.. absolutely Fantastic.

  • 4 years ago

    by CathyButterflyJC

    This is so beautiful, it really is, from the first bit it really got to me, something about it wore away into a sensation inside of me, wonderful poem!!! Two thumbs up!

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