I have to say the flow you have got here is actually quite amazing. It does have song rhythm to it. very catchy.
The story itself was very easy to relate to, in a lost relationship. The distance was very well portrayed in your simple line of :
I lived over here,
You, across the sea,
- to me, this implies a big distance.
This would make a great love song by someone, many people will relate to it, especially when you mention the regrets and the fact that your heart can't forget. This just shows how much in love you were, and how you believed it was going to last forever.
Another great piece. Its true, Love never dies and that you convey well in this piece. This is really a wonderful song, the flow was amazing, the rhyming was good and i tried singing it but my lousy voice messed it up. LOL
3 years ago
by Augastus Black
I really don't know how to appreciate this song. Very much true with a very decent imagination. I believe it will great to read this song, while if we are near the sea, feeling the gentle breeze and reading this song. This poem is very very fantastic. Actually I had also thought very earlier before reading this write to write a poem very similar to this. Great work done be great lass. 5 out of 5 stars.