I really liked the imagery in this poem. It was full of emotion and powerful throughout.
With that being said, I think some added punctuation throughout would have helped out a little bit. This is something I am currently working on as well within my writing and I know you will benefit from it.
5 years ago
I like the detailed imagery you use here. I think a lot of people can relate to this. The darkness does consume us at times and I think thats what you were saying here. We all feel the pressure of life and sometimes have the breakdown. I wouldn't change anything from this though. We never want to show other people what we feel inside and we can't deal with it. You show here how hard it is to cope too. We all want the pain to end sometime and if it doesn't life seems to get worse. I loved this because you go into so much detail about something a lot of people deal with. Great write
5 years ago
by Burning Angel
Wow, this poem gave me so much emotions. I love it! You use so much imagery and alot of the stanzas reminded me of myself
The pain must be heavy... Extremely extremely heavy and unbearable... The pain that we can do nothing and the pain is just growing.... But we need to work hard to fight that pain... Bury it... No cremate it don't bury it... Such pain cannot even be defined... But I understand the pain
I'm so sorry you went through all of it... How the pain has lessened... How it will soon... And then everything will be alright soon... Just keep going on cause life's a climb... :-)