Comments : Short Lived

  • 4 years ago

    by Sincuna

    The ending came like an unseen bullet hitting me right to the temple.

    You have a way with words that belong solely to literature. The first stanza alone would be a great line in a novel describing inspiration, or attraction, or simply... happiness. And I loved how they ironically felt short lived as well:

    impetuous fits, ignite, kindling with a spark - these are all sudden, almost swift and unforeseen. And the ending, became the missing piece of the puzzle, without it, we wouldn't have understood the story here, or forced ourselves to imagine it.

    This isn't about falling in love, or simply being content. This could very well be a short moment for the speaker. An aftermatch of hearing beautiful news, or watching a funny movie, or being told a joke, a comment where flattery cannot be avoided. The joy is real, and turned the speaker into a wildflower (in the wasteland of my soul - though not a fan of the line, still better than average, (: ) that suddenly wilted on the thought of someone. The disappointment crushed me like a anvil falling at corner of a street. The question of why makes this poem openended, short lived. Just the way life works I guess.

    Beautifully crafted as always. :)

  • 4 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I loved the freshness and format of this write. It's almost like opening up a journal entry, breathing in the air of someone else and seeing their life become affected by this person. I'm sure people can relate with the reality that we create our own happiness, and when we can feel alive and free, it is truly something wonderful. But when there's someone in our lives bringing us down, it's hard to get past that memory or remove their presence. These lines were beautifully worded: "like a wildflower bloomed in the wasteland of my soul."

    Your emotions had grace and became such vivid poetry here. Congrats on the win!