Comments : Our Sad New World

  • 4 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    This poem is so very beautiful and stunning. :) the titleis one of the best iI've ever seen and fits the poem perfectly in my opinion. For me this poem is unique because in each of the new lines there is a new "character" presented. First two lines have a helicopter. Not so much a character but the object I suppose. The second two lines hold the policeman who is represented as being stern and tough. The next have the teacher who cannot show how scared they are so I loved how you put the gun in. The ending is great I feel too. The student you represent as a soft and scared. The poem has a whole I feel is about the violence or shootings in the school or world we have now. Overall this poem is simple but each line holds such powerful wording. Change nothing. Very impressed with this!

    • 4 years ago

      by Kiko

      Thanks for the nice comment. Yes, it is about the school shootings and the NRA's response to them.

  • 4 years ago

    by Hellon

    You kept it simple which I think is important when you are talking about an important issue such as this.

    I feel the first half of this piece focuses on the 'new' way teachers and pupils have to adjust and the second half tells how everyone still yearns for the old way but, sadly, concede that it's now in the past.

    Congrats on getting it published and...welcome have been missed :)

  • 4 years ago

    by Amreen

    A very nicely written poem! Congrats on the feature!


  • 4 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    School, a place where children learn, play and grow. The "safest" place is no more safe. Teachers now carry a gun instead of books. I like the simplicity of this message. Congrats on the win.

  • 4 years ago

    by Abed

    I love reading original topics in poetry!
    Congrats on the win.
    This is very dramatic and with a message. a sad one.

  • 4 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Wow Kiko:)

    Congrats on both the poem and the win!

    I like the version on the weblog better, with that cartoon. Well done, you!

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 4 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    This is such great original write and congrats on the win. Keep on writing, it is amazing and such pleasure to read

  • 4 years ago

    by Akerele1 Segun22

    Simply and concise. God bless you.

  • 4 years ago

    by jazooy

    Your poem is excellent , amazing , wonderful , and more = ( ect )

  • 4 years ago

    by Narph

    Judging Comment:

    This piece is so short and concise and so accurately portrays the emotion of disturbance through really subtle, but jarring descriptions. "Teacher keeps a loaded gun inside her pencil drawer"... When I first read through this, I genuinely thought it would say apple, but no, a gun. And the last line, too. Way to smash everyone's favorite childhood singalong into bits. In a good way, of course. :) The fact that you pulled off this simplicity and clever wordplay while keeping a rhyme scheme astounds me. Great job!

  • 2 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Superb and powerful write.

  • 11 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    This is bloody fanstastic! A great truth you have in here.