Comments : In Our Marriage

  • 3 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    "In our marriage
    every memory is a theatre and every moment a war."

    damn girl do u wanna murder me or

  • 3 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Memories are difficult. Whether they are good or bad. Marriage is even more difficult because of the hardships we have to go through to be happy. Also sometimes we dont want to relive what we went through. I really liked the metaphor you used at the start of this. It's sad how this always seems to be the case. One person always seems to be the "leader" and the other gets no opinion or voice. This poem seems to be your voice just to let all if your feelings out.

    Wow that last stanza really hits you hard and says a lit for the poem itself. I see confliction here. You seem to be angry while they were not there but you want to resurrect their memory by doing things now like you did when you were little. That's the good memories. But here it seems like the bad outweighs the good and you cannot forgive this person for seemingly hurting you. I agree as well the last line is eye opening. It wraps up well what the poem was trying to say in that every moment was a battle inside and out. Great write!

  • 3 years ago

    by The Princess

    Mel, this is beautiful. As always, there is such a beauty in every word you write. As I said before you're an artist and it shows in everything. I read this and I see many emotions pushing forth, love, pain, acceptance, sadness, longing but above all this, I see beauty and it leaves me in awe.

  • 3 years ago

    by Rainbow Writers

    "In our marriage you are an empire and I
    narrate the territories you invade."

    It's incredible how quickly you were to captivate the audience's attention and curisoity with this stanza - it gives off the sensation that you're more of a keen observer with no objections to the actions of your significant other (or whomever it is, that you meant by 'you').

    "Our vows were written in the marrow of my ankle,
    ungodly the way our bones would graze and you still
    reenact those nights. "

    I love the composition of these words - you have an extrememly unique way of wording things and this is just testimonial to that. I'm certain there's a deeper meaning to that stanza, but I'm not sure what it is.

    "Months passed without you so I deleted every snippet.
    Asked for you in prayer over a bowl of minestrone and spilt
    ravioli on notepads you once wore. When the anesthesia
    rejected, I looked for a place to keep you homely,
    I tried to store you in Cornell's collections
    and resuscitate you by greeting the 99c
    garage sales and perfumes at the mall. In our marriage
    every memory is a theatre and every moment a war. "

    I was honestly rendered speechless by this last stanza - there was so much raw emotion and a subtle melancholy that lingered with each one of your words. The whole stanza makes it seem like you're bittersweet about the whole ordeal, and it's beautifully written.

    I only have a slight recommendation; putting " In our marriage
    every memory is a theatre and every moment a war. " as a seperate line, much like your first stanza.

    The whole poem gave me a venting/self-reflection/nostalgia sense and clearly seems to be written as an attempt at catharsis. I just wanted to say again that I absolutely loved this poem - though the subject of the poem is rather depressing.

  • 2 years ago

    by Maher

    I agree with everyone else here in saying that the last line is epic. Well...they didn't say it in those words, but they should have.

    It's amazing how much vivid detail can be expressed in the space of a 13 line poem - any poem for that matter, but this one is a great example. From memories of what would seem to others as minor or insignificant events, such as the food you described, to heavier and more intense memories like visiting places outside of home where I'm guessing you both paid visits to at some point.

    Point being, memories can be a bugger to hold on to and a real challenge to express as eloquently as you have done above. You took the best of both worlds, played them against each other, and in the end they walked away as best friends. Great poem :)