Comments : Swing

  • 3 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Sighs... I wish we could nominate love poetry :-(

    Jane you have penned a beautiful love poem here.. Your descriptive flare to detail leaves me breathless!

    I absolutely love the wording mixed with feelings here. You have a gift with endings as well.. just leaves me speechless!

  • 3 years ago

    by uttAm

    Enjoyed reading.

  • 3 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Judging comment:

    The opening lines already sets such a divine atmosphere that I can wonder what it would be like to drift among stars. The idea of the cobbled stairs to the heavens connects with me that this would indeed be experiencing something new, venturing into a new realm of discovery. I love how you then voice that fear of moving ahead, like you may not be able to return or will forget everything on earth, or your grounded memories. One of my favorite lines: "When I try to dig one up, ink hemorrhages from fissures in my skin and my mouth clogs up with poet's blood". That is such a distinct image that screams and I feel it screams your fear, fear of the unknown and that this dream may not be as satisfying and fulfilling as you wished. The question of "Who are you to me?" is striking as it carries such self-reflection with it. We do have to think of our impact on others but also how others impact us. Why do we spend time with certain people? What are our reasons? Is it love? Commitment? The mention of the beast in the last few stanzas was neat, as it may not have a certain name but you both almost created it and it stands between you so to speak. I feel like this could relate to vices in our lives that act as barriers to living in the present, or having goals in the future and actively pursuing them. I am almost speechless in the ending. This person close to you is finally asking a question, the why, and there seems to be a point where you cannot understand each other anymore, even in plain words, some things aren't known to this person and that brings a sad aspect to this poem. Well-written! (10)

  • 3 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Jane is a wordsmith! Her unique gift of mixing creative words with her message is one of the reasons I faint when I read her poetry!

    "swing" - The rhythm and motion of the relationship... that is the meaning I get from her title... love it!

    "When I try to dig one up, ink hemorrhages from fissures in my skin
    and my mouth clogs up with poet's blood."

    ------------------------------------ This line shows just how brilliant and captivating this poem is! Powerful line!

    From start to finish I was speechless!!

  • 5 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    Wow, words will fall short to describe this very excellent piece of yours, Jane! Speechless and just in awe!