Having the title as a dedication to a person to me personalizes the poem, to make the reader feel what you are feelings, and that in turn makes for a great poem, which this is. You captivate the reader with your imagery and wordplay at first, and make them stay for the emotion. This poem is definitely simpler then it seems to the naked eye, but you did such a stunning job with the meaning and message. You put your whole heart into this, I can tell. To me you take the reader on a ride of emotions of happiness and sadness or even regret. You don't want to lose this person out of your life, because have a special connection with them. You draw from your memories and mention all the good times you had. When love takes a hold of our hearts, we tend to overrate the difficult it can make in us. That's what I see here. This person or you want to so badly not to show sadness but you did and that in turn, messes things up. I loved the wording and flow if this poem becaus you wrote it well. You want to be this persons light in the darkness, but you cannot find your own light. Excellent work! 5/5
There is such a sincerity in this piece that I can almost feel it tangibly. The first stanza is written simply but expresses the one truth that this silence has burdened you, and you cannot live with it any longer. The questioning in the second stanza is heartfelt and so human, as I feel we all ask ourselves why we said something in the tone we did, affected a person this way, etc. Your voice has an understanding and maturity to it as well, that as easy it would be to wallow in the sorrows, we must not repeat our past and go back and try to relive it better.
"I would much rather sit beside you
Watching the flowing river before us,
Listening to the current
And translate what it tries to say."
- This is such a calming, meditative image. Like this intimate moment shared between you, among nature, can heal wounds and open up communication again. What I notice in this piece also is that your voice is firm; you are not wavering back and forth with this person but want them to know you will listen if they come back, you need direction, and the "voice of the wind is waning".... it is like you need closure. The second to last stanza is beautiful in its purity, the desire to share that simplistic moment with someone, the shy smile or the light in their day. The ending is heartfelt and I find it sometimes hard to explain to a person why I am sorry, or what I don't want to happen as it takes a vulnerability to admit and make that confession. But you've done it here, so openly. That final image of speaking to the walls is powerful because it shows your true desire to be with this person and work on the distance, speak with them no matter how it went in the past. (7)