Little p you have such a mastery of this craft...i am sad that it is sad but.........
"I want to look into
someone's eyes and tell the truth,
but mine are just abandoned catacombs.
Lies piled up within glass
coffins, while their phantoms
stumble precariously toward the ledge
CrAzY good writing!!!
If i could nominate this i would, amazing write!
3 years ago
by Beautiful Soul
Damn Liz. This too often tends to be a person's thoughts when they are asked how they are. I do like how you start this poem out. Simply saying that you are okay, but the next line reminds me of good news and bad news, you are okay...but not okay, and that hesitation is a great show of emotions. Then your words snowball from there showcasing how you feel almost like you are in thought, or that's how I see it. The past haunts you like a ghost and it works well, because the reader can visualize what you are saying. It gives them an eerie feeling if how it plays out. You try to smile but you know the blood is there from trying to speak but biting your tongue instead. And your throat is choked up on you're not okay. You know you are not but you play this facade of trying to protect ypur emotions from others, without getting judged. The ending is great. It lengthens the mystery to the character and facing their worst fear of expressing pain. 5/5
3 years ago
I love this piece from you, as long as it is. Usually when I see a poem this long I loose interest or feel completely overwhelmed at the length I will not read...but this one held my interest from the first line to the last :) It is a poem that I personally can relate to and many others here I suppose. When someone says "How are you.." it is much easier to say "I am ok" rather than open our mouths and tell the truth, when we just want to scream or cry- love this little gem <
Wow, this is extremely powerful. I could not believe the wording of this when I first started reading and had the imagery of the nooses of ghosts of the past, hanging on your lips, creating the frown. I think this really highlights the sadness, and how hard it is for you to smile at this particular moment! Wow.
Great way to bring your readers on side, in a way they can relate to, especially at this time of year when feelings can be all over the place and in that dark place of loneliness.
I am also a fan of your ending, in the way that everyone seems to ask how are you, and sometimes, you are just not in the mood to hear this, and have no idea how to answer it, so you reply with the easiest and quickest way you know how, with the "im ok"
So many people can relate to this, it is heartbreaking, it is beautiful. Perfectly penned pain in nothing but the most excellent ways. I love this piece as it seems do so many others. It captures the eye and it is read just as wonderfully.
I've come back to this poem multiple times in the past week and still am pretty speechless. I really can't add much other than the emotion is what touched my heart in this piece, and you reaching out through these words. You personified these "okays" powerfully and made me reflect on how often I say that and "I'm fine" to cover up what really hurts. What I can't get over. There's also such a strong longing in this piece, to be heard and to be told by someone who cares for you that no, you are not okay and they can see through your facade. I think we all at some point want someone to notice our pain. When we are so lost in it.
Stay strong. Thanks for sharing this piece and congratulations on the win, too.